I feel inferior to you , physically hate the fact that somehow , to me ,I am better than you in alot of ways.not sayin i'm perfect.but its the fact that its always so easy for you.but its so hard for me.he gave me all this gifts.but i can't do nothing with them.i feel deprived.i hate this situation i am in.'the mans' birthday is on Sunday another day to feel depressed about.i'm havin lunar rhythms now which is makin every situation i am in seem worse.why am i pretendin that nothin is happening when everything i wished would never happen is happenin.its like my nightmare with deja vu.i'm so fuckin fustrated and i feel faintish.my mind is so painful.i can barely type.my eyes are turnin so fast.i can feel my brains twich a lil.its drivin me nuts.i hate the fact that there's no one for me to love.i hate the fact that i have this gut feelin its cause i think there ain't gonna be no one as perfect as you.i hate the fact that everytime i see you i still cant take my eyes off of you.i hate the fact that everytime i think of you i cant breathe.JESUS SAVE ME.