some random photos from random me =)

first shot : Chinatown , 30 March 2006 photographed by yours truly
second shot : Lu kek(old folk) , 30 March 2006 photographed and edited by me
third shot : Phoebe and I , 30 March 2006 photographed by cheryl foo edited by me
fourth shot : SPG photographed by Mark Hillman
fifth shot : photo decadence photographed by Sophia Delaporte
sixth shot : Maria carla boscono photographed by Theo Volpatti
seventh shot: Seth and Jacklyn Hodes photographed by Nick Knight

she ain't the prettiest but , I think she's beautiful




she's standing there , you're judging her
you don't know what she has done to herself
you scream at her , you spit at her
you treat her like an animal
you lie through your teeth and tell her
she's being treated like the rest
when deep inside you know
she aching there but you don't care
cause it's all to you , just a show
show and tell , kiss and tell
you left a scar in her mind
she punches the wall more then fifty nine times
to abuse and punish herself for stupidty
she shudders at the thought of a crimson sea
but what she really wants to see is bruises on her knees
her arms , her legs and everywhere
her mind is screaming with infidelities




Don't speak , I don't wanna hear another word
your rancid breath makes my nose bleed.

photobooth memory , I've used this line before.


maybe we're the ones losing it
but tonight we close our eyes with the candle lit
blank in the minds with no designs
at the darkest moment of the night
I close my eyes and my fingers bang on the keys
the film starts to play as the song goes
the cloud appears the world doesnt matter
following you into the dark with the given directions
She sees him and the other her
God forces a smile in the broken bleeding heart
Spunned around and dashes through the fields
he gives chase in his demin jeans after her skirt
she runs and the tall yellow grass cuts her legs
she bleeds and bleeds crying uncontrollaby
vowing to herself never to turn back again
and suddenly , a pit appears and she well , falls
and he couldn't catch her when she fell
she drops into the pit into forever
and her view dissapear , she's gone.


baby , don't fill my heart with lust.


feeling low? I'll give you the ball

count so often , breathe so little



self abuse , self hatred.


well , I suppose that today was rather eventful
considering I didn't have any plans at all
although thirteen did ask me out for some gig
but well yea , I was planning on sleeping in
(even though I already slept for 13 hours)
I had my pimple cream and knickers on and was
about to sleep when I got a call from karys
whom asked me down for some y2y production audition
and I was like 'what the heck' although
I was to most reluctant to do so but you know whatever
so when I saw chris at the counter[ omg ]
I felt embarassed no idea why either
then I audtioned for dancing
we did this lame dance made friends with a couple of malays
and V asked me why not act and I did
and yea I got in for mocking my maid -_-
anyhows after that V , thirteen and Mel came over to my place
to watch sugar rush(some lesbo show) it was really good
So good I forgot I was abusing myself and I ate!
WTF MAN LOL anyway , it was really fun having people around me
after they left one by one I met gwenie and ah lian for supper
at grapey's thanks to chng who didn't even turn up
but we met akira anyway which I suppose made up for her place
anyway today was really Good but I think I ended my night badly
oh well , life is unpredictable. fuck the world. :)





what if you had woman as a dad ?

I think she's beautiful
I've no blogging mojo
so hear's something I thought
would be pretty nice :)


I'm sorry that it took so long
to write this song
but i gave up
you see one million words can't describe
how it feels
to know your love

where did i go wrong?
i should have told you from the start
that i'm closer than you think
when we're apart
nothing that i've tried
is as simple as this line

but without you
my life is incomplete
my days are absolutely gray
and so I'll try
let your heart know for sure
that i have so much more to tell you
every single day

i swear i'm giving up my inside
to the one
that i adored
i know this world is big enough
for you and i
but i'll give you more

i'm coming home today
to wipe the tears right from your eyes
i'm totally enamored by your life
nothing that i've done
has ever been for one

but without you
my life is incomplete
my days are absolutely gray
and so I'll try
let your heart know for sure
that i have so much more to tell you
every single day

my life is incomplete
my rites are absolutely gone
so wake me up
before you leave today
something i need to say
cause they'll be nothing when you're gone

self amusment , self abusing
it takes my pain away
It was only two's birthday yesterday
she's grown one year older
her boobs are growing
so is her hair and hopefully her height
and of course , her brains
she's growing one year closer to death too
But , I still love her
well , my week's going to be rather busy
I mean cheerleading and all
and nana's birthday on friday
and shanny's birthday on sunday
alot of money's going to be spent
but alot of fun is going to be looked foward to
well , at least I hope so
Today's my chill macdaddy day
no plans no nothing I feel , loooosssseeee
finally! time for myself? I hope
but I seem to be waiting for something to happen
I'm becoming weird again , BYE

It's true , I left my heart in the backseat of your car

I LOVE FRIDAYS :D


caught dorm with thirteen yesterday at bishan yesterday
And to my surprise it was a really good show
I mean I thought it was just going to be all scary
but the storyline was rather good I mean it's not
all that cliche.Dorm was more of sweet than scary.
But some scenes did make my hair stand
I had to use the toilet real bad
I went from the 1st floor to the 2nd floor
and back to the 1st floor it was full of people
and I hate people hahaha
there was one point when I was washing my hands
and I looked around for thirteen and I felt
water splashing on me for no good reason
then I thought maybe my hands were spaszing
then I realise it wasn't me It was this lady
next to me and to my horror
SHE WAS WASHING HER BLOODY DENTURES
when I saw the dentures I made a weird sound
like someone chocked me or something
so she turned to me and gave me a
BEEEGGG TOOTHLESS GRIN and said sorry
LOL and obviously I said it was ok
damn it I can't smack the dentures out of her hand
and make her wash my legs and shorts which
were covered with her drool and toilet water.(...)
anyway ,after dorm thirteen had to rush home cause of her
crazy shit ass traditional mum
So I headed down to V's house for our usual
friday orgys when I got there
carebear Leezoo and kingkong were already there
We spasz around watch wildboys made fun of carebear
and made up a rare disease called STOMATA EXPLODIATION
and said that carebear had to get the CV soon
which would be injected at the nipple if not she'll
grow chest hair well , at least somewhere along that line
We're so full of shit , I had so much fun!
I'm looking foward to a longgggg day :)



V,Hannah,Eme,T & L , I LOVE YOU GUYS
thank God for friday nights :D

Hide all the flaws.


zouk was awesome actually
I mean it was great but not that great
It wasn't good cause of the crowd
but dancing on the podium was awesome
crib walking the night away was good
dancing is like this remedy that comes easy
all you need is guts and now that's what ain't
the skeleton who didn't cross the road got
After partying the night till dawn
we (V,Son,Momma C,Nana & I the great one) chilled
at the macdonalds near my place
we looked shaggeddd boss! HAHA we saw vege mountain
and xiang yin and some other friends
we got to my place say around 4?
AND NANA BATHED FOR DAMN LONG CAN!? HAHAHA
anyway I had a great time with you all.
I love you guys :)


Nice seeing all the folks at zouk :D

today , tonight , that's nice
I'd give you my biggest smile
Yes babe , I've to break the ice
It's no use changing myself
to accommodate you
when you don't give a damn
I've to stop this , stop this stupidity
hold myself up before I hit the ground
I've got the strangest feeling that
I've gone away but let's...

undiscovered , save me from all your stupid question


approximately 13 hours ago I was really ticked off at Akira
Only because he's almost a bestfriend and he did something to
me that to me is going to stick with me for a long time
I bare grudges it's easy to forgive but it's fucking hard
to fucking forget.But I'll try for the sake of lovers & friends
I've notice a rapid hope loss in me.I cut my hair to cut my
memories away it got uneven ah lian had to cut it even more
for me and when she did I wisphered to her
'you're cutting my memories away' babe I meant it
my memories have been left to patch works now
so much for friends so much for love
I prayed to Dad for a wonderful dream cause I cried myself
to sleep only because I slept unhappy.He gave me a dream
I dreamt that we were chasing Leezoo.V and I some others
that I can't remember but We were chasing her
And we bumped into edison chen ( yes wtf) and we asked
for his autograph and asked him whether he could help
us find for leezoo and he agreed.The dreams very vague now
But I remember asking him to call Jill but he said
he knows her already and he met her at a club
and she said to him that harry sings better
(now, how the fuck is harry?)that's a question I don't
have an answer for cause I don't have a friend whose name is
harry.I can't remember the dream anymore but it was wonderful
I woke up at 11 to this lame phone call which I suppose
is one of those million pranks jism plays on me
but this time I didn't stay to hear his voice
I hung up.I cut my hair it really helps.
I've not really eaten or cried or felt anything this morning
so I guess my vow's currently taking place aye?
I'm becoming very self depriving it's going to get ugly.
take notice take interest take me with you , Daddy Jesus :)


Spinning - DC - Several Ways to Die Trying

IT'S 3.50 AM RIGHT NOW AND I'M FUCKING HELL OVERWHELMED WITH EMOTIONS
I'M SO PISSED I'VE DECIDED TO SWORN OFF FEELING FO' REAL AND EATING
AND CRYING AND GETTING CLOSE TO PEOPLE.(maybe this won't last)BUT FUCKING
HELL! I'M SO DAMN ANGRY! WHAT THE FUCK! I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FUCKING
FRIEND AND FRIENDS DON'T MAKE FRIENDS FEEL LIKE SHIT YOU FUCKING
ASSHOLE.MOTHERFUCKER MAYBE IT'S CAUSE I DESERVE ALL THIS KARMA
BUT AM I REALLY SUCH A BAD PERSON? IF SO MAYBE I SHOULD JUST DISSAPEAR.
I KNOW ALL YOU FUCKERS OUT THERE WILL FUCKING APPRECIATE THAT AYE?
WHAT THE FUCK I FEEL LIKE I'M BLEEDING MY INSIDES OUT.ARGH.GAWD DAMN IT.
I WOULD COMMIT SUICIDE IF NOT FOR THE FACT THAT I FEAR GOD. FUCK!!
DON'T WAKE ME UP I PLAN ON SLEEPING IN TO LET THE ANGER SUBSIDE.

call me and tell me what's on your mind;



I help you make choices
I could be the one you want
I could be the girl that's the fling
that affects your love for someone else
I could be the friend that's always there for you
I could be the one you use
I could be the one you learn things from
I could be the one that stalks your every move
and most of the time ends up heartbroken
so sometimes When I'm alone I wonder
where do I belong , who am I to you
sometimes well most of the time , I wonder.



passerby , passerby

If I said I loved you , would they or could you make them stop?

fans of the stripes or the hives?

//it's currently 5.59 and my brains hurt from the lack of sleep.
I can't seem to sleep I'm at ah lian's ville and is dying.
there are about a thousand and one things on my mind right now
and I can't seem to let the thoughts budge.
I repeat to myself slowly budge thoughts budge and to no avail.
happiness is a deception , love is a masquerade
what am I thinking is it too late? The feeling doesn't just
come and go there must a motive behind it.
what am I saying I've not a clue sometimes
well , I do but not exactly they're all jumbled up
like a jigsaw puzzle note that I will not be there for you.
siewhwee janice lauren xiu nana and ah lian are as dead as a log
and I'm thinking so much that I think you wrecked my night.
Its so possible my one-sided story sorry.
what have I gotta do to make you want me like you want her
what you say is indecipherable.
oh my bleeding heart he says while he lies without blinking
how could you decieve me like that I trusted you
once the trust is gone you're nothing but a dirt bag.
I hate you so much but for religon I can't say a thing
except to the one has the power to keep in silence
daddy's little defeact altered my life?
or every little thing you want?
I sit here and contemplate while half my legs outta blood.
goodbye for now.

Sunday , Sunday , Bliss.


Today was the usual routine.Cat Class , Mass and Lunch ,I got home early cause I quarrelled with my Mum nothing new we always quarrel.Anyhows I got home did some archer shit and watched The L word( yes ,Woohoo shane.)but my mum had to piss me off again cause she claims that lesbianism is very un-godly in our household.I personally feel that it's just part and parcel of life maybe I'm a tad to open about this kinda thing.Oh well anyhows , I was really pissed off so I slept so I wouldn't let the anger grow and afterall ,it is a sunday the day I try not to sin for it is his day , daddy's day , I've been calling Jesus daddy reccently cause I realise if my father can't be a good enough dad I might as well call Jesus my dad cause my dad ain't worth being called a dad.well whatever I still call him dad.As I was saying, I slept from 1 - 7 plus I was practically hibernating in my aircon room.My mum came in at about 3 and asked me whether I wanted to go for lunch and I was like , PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE I'M DAMN TIRED LEAVE ME ALONE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE I WANNA SLEEP!LOL I was actually still kinda angry.I'm a really angry person I think I need help.-_-


Things to do:


-Go out with Lee-yah and the rest
-Go out with the Clique( yes V , the CLIQUE LOL).
-Go out with Siva and the rest
-Go out with Akira and the rest
-Go out with bestfriend(s)
-Finish reading heavier than heaven and diary
-Excercise as much as possible
-Make more time for self and famillia
-Start dusting my art stuff and paint :)
-Practice photography
-try to remember what else I was suppose to do


Gonna do some reading now and maybe a little art now
anyways, it's a sunday so just for the record , I don't hate anyone, Amen :)



Spinning - Siempre Me Quardara (Spain) - Bebe , Thanks Ner I Love You :D

what a day , what a day.
are you still holding onto the rope?

make more time for me, please?

cause now you know
life's really long
and it's been awhile
since I've waited for you,
for you to call
tell me that it's gone
it hits the brains hard like cocaine
the letters and what I call my obligation
hurry darling , kill me quickly


- had fun with V , T & E today :)I really love you all.

the house will be gone , I burned it down
but I'm still here and so will he and he said ,
well , brace yourselves young lad for you or going
to fiest your eyes and her awsomeness.
I lay awake at night filled with my regrets
sometimes wondering hmmm is it my turn yet?
but it seems like my turn never comes
I've succumb to my devastation
would it have made a difference if I was
say , more beautiful.

Pretty girl is suffering, while he confesses everything
Pretty soon she'll figure out what his intentions were about
That's what you get for falling again
You can never get him out of your head
And that's what you get for falling again
You can never get him out of your head

It's the way
That he makes you feel
It's the way
That he kisses you
It's the way
That he makes you fall in love

She's beautiful as usual with bruises on her ego and
Her killer instinct tells her to be aware of evil men
And that's what you get for falling again
You can never get 'em out of your head
And that's what you get for falling again
You can never get 'em out of your head

Pretty girl, pretty girl

Pretty girl is suffering, while he confesses everything
Pretty soon she'll figure out
You can never get him out of your head

It's the way
That he makes you cry
It's the way
That he's in your mind
It's the way
That he makes you fall in love

ode to love? no one likes a sad fuck.

maybe something nice will do on the midnight highway ;


Well , I think , well maybe
I'm still recovering from what happened
Maybe it had always been just a one-sided story.
but it felt so fucking hell good that It became
In my mind , A fucking reality.
I can't seem to forget them times that we had.
I wish you would never become a part of my past.
Sometimes I stare In the darkness and wonder
why? why did I end up with be in love with someone,
someone like you ,You Egocentric Anal Prober.
Oh well , I think silence Is beautiful
I am made of blood clots and black holes
please tell me how you are able to do the things you do.
I'm so convinced that your skin is still the same as mine.
what does it take to get under your skin.
would It be like watching someone die or
would It be like watching a bad horror flick.
well If you have to be a part of past.
I wanna be able to look back and smile and say.
that was now , this was then.

ARE YOU? HEHE

I love long entries they make me feel whole :)

when I close my eyes , I like what I see.
Inside my mind that is.
I like to dream about the stars above , once in a while
but you know how sometimes being in love with someone
can be well sometimes , manipulative?
cause I've got the strangest feeling that It happened to me.
But by now that I've realised it , it's too late to turn back.
I used to wish to be every little thing you wanted all the time.
But I realized that I'm not all about that.
I was like a puppet and you were the puppet master

all that superficiality , oh God fuck no.
I ain't much of that kind of shit
I wished I could be every little thing you wanted sometimes.
I didn't even have a mind of own.
People don't know that I actually like being quiet and alone
But don't get me wrong I love people namely , my friends
that's why I don't get much of the alone times
making friends and other shit my first priority.
God , come and take me home lead me to your door.
at least just for awhile.Dishwalla's on right now
In the mood for a little reflection.
I blocked out my feelings it's great that I've become numb
I havent cried over selfpity for awhile.
But I blocked out the feelings completely till I lost myself
in the process.Ain't I brilliant? How can someone actually do that
well , I did to hell I did.Now , I take quite long to register
the way I feel sometimes I take an hour sometimes a day sometimes
even a week.For instance I wanted to blog about how I've been
feeling but I realised that, hey! I don't even know how I feel now.
Do you ever sometimes find yourselves thinking , Oh shit I forgot to
breathe.well , that's how I am sometimes when I get to engrossed into
something.Like just a minute ago , I finally realized how I've been
feeling that I almost didn't breathe for awhile.
Maybe I should some of the feelish thing back aye?
I don't want to go to sleep every night thinking
hmmm what should I dream about tonight?
Even more so I don't want to wake up thinking of nothing.
I love having the sunlight flood my eyes every morning
and being able to smile myself thinking , today's going to wonderful
and being able to have all my emotions overwhelm me with desire to
do something crazy with Vicky or Phoebe or Stacy or whoever
( the list goes on )so I can have my thoughts simmer down.
I think I think too much sometimes.
I was walking home the other night passing the usual route
having to pass the football court near my crib. I looked up
and saw the amazing beauty of sky so much so I had to lie on the ground
and absorb the moment.sometimes I think I'm a weirdo.
oh well , am I to complex to comprehend?

Pinch me is it me or is this picture just funny?I love this girl! She's so Cynical!

the time currently is 1:54 If I were to be in school I'd be rejoicing.
But Nope , there ain't school today cause it's a saturday.
I have no Idea what I have been doing since 10.11 , the time I woke up.
well , I think I've been sitting infront of the damn computer
and freaking stonning I tell you for almost 3 fucking hours.
this is so fucking unhealthy but thank God for friends
cause I'm going to east coast baby to celebrate cheryl's birthday.
HEY PARTNER! HAPPY ONE-DAY TO YOUR BIRTHDAY :) I LOVE YOU !
School was a bitch yesterday. I had bloody cramps while doing
my fucking punishment for late-coming and chen lao shi wouldn't let me off.
I broke down as a result fuck you bitch did you know I was in so much
fucking pain you should fucking burn in hell.We have a plan to burn down the
school when we're 80 then we can all die in jail watching the L word :D
Now everyone say , sweeeeeeettttttttt.anyway I'm so boring bye :)

CHECK THOSE LEGS OUT PEEWOWWWW

DUDES! PLEASE STOP INFLATING MY EGO I MIGHT GO TO HELL! =D
I LOVE FLAMERS IT TELLS ME THAT ALOT OF PEOPLE READ MY BLOG.
WHICH IS PRETTY COOL I GUESS HAHAHA EGO BOMB! =DDD

ENGLISH LESSON PART ONE
paaserby: do u noe that u totally sucks n for goodness sake,go reflect on urself,n for ur own good stop hanging out with the 1*beep*2

CORRECTION: passerby : Do you know that you totally suck and for goodness sake , go and reflect on yourself , and for your own good stop hanging out with the (which I assume) bitch.

stranger: knn larh euu... euu 1*beep*2 liitlle iitchh.

CORRECTION: WOW I'm lost for words gosh! your england! tsk.


hello everyone who reads my blog and inflates my ego,
days have been great for me I mean
besides the fact that I'm a walking magnet of bad vibes (jinx)
I am still very happy! :D , I think
Anyway , The school's having a little drama now
with the whole prank thing which in my opinion was rather lame
I mean if you wanna play a prank burn the school down for fuck's sake
at least then you'll be giving others a chance to party and that my
friend , is very very very coooooooooool.enough said , hear is my
resolution for the month!

- go out with HC-GF and her clique :)
- watch wolf creek with treeshaaniiirrirpoeoean
- let my turtle go at macritchie(?)
- club non-stop for the whole of the march holidays
- lose weight
- sleep early
- go to school on time religously
- pray that God might drop Ian down from the sky :)
- go out with V and the rest
- write my book
- improve and thy languages
- save money
- have more time for self

I know I had a thousand and one things on my list of to dos but
well , I can't remember.I'm going to run and hide under the covers.




everyone thinks moorese is a cool kid :)
HAHAHA -_________-