falling asleep to the starlight video on the couch is the last thing I remember about yesterday.It was my mummy's birthday yesterday! We ate at prego & laughed so much I felt like vomiting. We were laughing at how unlady like I am & how weird she is. hahaha , my mother has the thickest skin in the world! I swear , she can continue talking about things that do not concern me & me , obviously not giving a shit to what she's talking about will start humming tunes and she'll just continue when she can tell I'm totally not paying attention. She'll go on till the point where I stop what I'm doing and go wait , she's still talking?! And burst out laughing and say mum , you're damn retarded. Okay , yeah I know. Retarded again right? GOD! I need to start reading the dictionary again. Yes again. hahaha phoebe & I used to read to dictionary and we'd compete to see who knew more English words. God , we were so....Retarded? Alrighty I leave you here! :)

I miss pam already.

okay yes , I look like shit everywhere. bahaha but i don't care the food looks good & the oreo frappe's awesome yo! :)

I traded the sunrise for the sunset

I miss the B&W in all areas of my life.

Let down your defenses

I have no idea what's going on with my life right now.I feel like an outsider watching this stranger ruin her own life and I can't do anything to help her cause it's pretty hard , because you're a stranger too. haha , yeah call me emo throw rocks at me cast me out from the tribe whatever else you've got I really can't care anymore. I think I'm becoming numb again. And feeling numb's the best feeling I've felt this year.

thank you gwen , for everything :)

Chloe's so pretty her photo doesn't even need to be edited :)


I't 4 minutes to 8.30 and I've to reach school by 9
okay , so according to gwen my livejournal link is wrong
but I'm to lazy to edit it so it's just without the www haha
today's just one of those days I wake up before the alarm clock
and feel like I'm late for school. have you had one of those days before?
I woke up breathless actually. damn the stupid weather!
Anyway so today's just of those days you want to wake up and listen to mogwai.
it's one of those ' i want to listen to mogwai ' days. okay okay I don't make sense
today's also one of those days you feel like listening to those old songs you once had
hahaha , so i've uploaded usher & avril lavinge into my ipod! hooray okay! see you bye

okay , I guess I'm better now. I've a livejournal but it's for school but I want to use it too I'll switch once I get the hang of it , it's www.lollipopsichord.livejournal.com I post pictures there so my lecturer can grade it. anyway , I hope all is well for the rest of you. :)

Goodbye for now cause the way I feel right now is beyond comprehension.

Well I'm a wreck. I really can't explain it but I, I hear the music when I look at you. Orchestrating the song to accommodate the moment. Well, I'm so in love with you.

somedays like today I look up in the sky stare at just a single star , the brightest of course
I walk with my head up not facing anything directly infront of me
playing the game of trust with myself. ( this insanity comes from not having a sibling )
It's hard to trust yourself . Yet , sometimes we find it so much easier to trust someone else.
I love the 'weak knees' feeling I get when I walk up not being able to see forth.
But I much rather give that feeling up then have the thrill.
cause sometimes when you're not looking at what's coming at you
you fall , you get hurt & that my friends , really sucks.
I just realised that trust is overated.

okay , so marisse as you can see is feeling rather emo today. God knows why. Good Lord I mean I've almost everything I want right now in my life. I mean I am happy but my life's kinda lacking something. you know the feeling you get when you draw lots for a lucky draw and win a prize that is pretty awesome and you should be happy with it cause it's really pretty all damn cool but you realised that your friend had a prize that was way cooler and then you feel this jealousy shit surge up your body making you wish you were somebody else. well , making you wish you were her basically. that's how i've been feeling for a while.Actually , I've been feeling that way since well , I think I was sec 2 the minute I became best friends with phoebe , I knew I wasn't happy with who I am. I mean seriously , you should check her out! hahaha , I was the overtanned netballer bestfriend who was a total bitch and she on the other hand was the thoughtful , patient , oh-so-lovely phoebe lauw whose social life I ruined quite briefly. okay okay , maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit. I feel the need to exaggerate right now. well , if you knew back then I was the most melodramatic person you'd ever know. okay so from there things moved on to when I became sec 4 which was only last year and I met a lot of people and my self esteem just kept shrinking and shrinking till the point that it is now a size of a peanut. haha! But you'll never see the side of me wanting to be somebody else unless you're as close to me like theresa or vicky( whom doesn't like to hear it anw!) or smth and you know what , I'm so tired at pretending I'm okay.

here's one to the mistakes we knew we were making.

My week in less than 300 words but more than a thousand pictures, haha!

I've had an awesome week! I hope this doesn't mean I'm going to have a horrid one next cause you know , change is constant. haha ,rese just said that to me the other day.we finally met up and went to see ally. ally has the nicest house in the world! spent the whole week with the boys , well almost. Beat was awesome today & so was caracal. Sorry Kinda brain dead now.

but , thank you boys for the awesome week :)

The other day after I came home from bong's place , I made a last minute decision to dash out in the rain at the playground. I made sure I was drenched before going home again. rese , I wish you were with me! I had to play games alone. I played the 'look up into the sky and try not to get to rain in my eyes' game. I love the rain.

I realise I have 5 different kinds of soap in my toilet.I use the Lux one when I'm lazy to bathe. I use the T3 one when I feel insecure.I use the bodyshop one when I feel good. I use the stives one when I remember I have it . & I have another one which I don't use at all. Haha , okay that was random. niteenite ! :)