I just quarreled with esmond.I hate him!I hate him!just because things r not going well with him n *someone.anw,things are ok now.My today was weird.Not a very good day either.had no mood to ball.so weird right?well,tt's the things work for me.haha.whAteveR.its been about 8 months since i told u i like *u.why does it have to be this way?why?i really like *u.love is a really strong word for me.I hate my life.i hated the NDP.I hate alot.do you know that?murder is said to be the most disgusting and unthinkable cause how could think about even doing right?well,have u ever thought what went through the murderer's mind...but here's another kind of murder thats far more fearful,far more harmful.and far more common than physical cold-blooded murder.ANGER.anger is far more terrible because many pple do not realize how evil it is.We see murder cases once in a while but pple get angry with each other all the time!how den can we be saved from the burnin' fires of hell?But need not despair God promises us his grace.Lucky me.haha.cause i get angry at pple all the time.i get angry with lizard n jenny..all the time..at least during training.i mean why must they bother me?i dont even talk to them tt much.Bitches.i dont even noe them their just my seniors?I get angry at myself.I mean nobody is perfect right?I'm definitely not.I'm not good enough for u.Your outta my leugue.do U actually even noe how much i like u.I cant seem to get over you.its been 8 months.like hello?tt's long maNxXx.I dont always have to do everything right.I wanna walk around with my hands up in the air like i dont care anymore.I wanna live my life different.I cant seem to let go.I wanna close my eyes.I wanna tune you out.But i cant.The more i think of u.i freak out.this sucks.but like i can do anything about it.I wanna stop crying my heart out.I dun wanna keep inside anymore.I wanna shout it all out.I dont wanna compromise.I hate love.It sucks.Arrgh.just like today.just can't.

love is troublesome

Dreams for sale and fairy tales.

i wear a mask of a thousand faces.but none of them are me.gonna let go n take it off.soon.........................

-out-

always treasure your love ones.read this story it made me cry.maybe i'm sensitive.but its really nice.

I guarantee you will remember the tale of the Wooden Bowl tomorrow, a week from now, a month for now, a year from now. A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four year old grandson. The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered family ate together at the table the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth his son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess."We must do something about Grandfather," said the son. "I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor."So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl the family glanced in his direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone, the only words the family had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food. The four year old watched it all in silence. One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?"Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up." The four year old smiled and went back to work. The words so struck the parents so that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason neither husband or wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled or the tablecloth soiled a positive note, I've learned that no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does goes on, and it will be better tomorrow. I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person, by the way he/she handles three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights. I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a"life." I 've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance. I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catchers mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.. I've learned that if you pursue happiness it will i exclude you. But, if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you. I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision. I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one. I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone love that human touch -- holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back. I've learned that I still have a lot to learn I've learned that you should pass this on to everyone you care about. I just did!!

I hate this feeling it burns like being stabbed in the back but listenin' to this is makin' me feel better.

Incase your wondering.It's by Avril LavinGe.

[freak out]

Try to tell me what i shouldn't do

You should know by now

I won't listen to you

Walk around with my hands

Up in the air

'Cause I don't care

'Cause I'm all right I'm fine

Just freak out let it go

Chorus

I'm gonna live my life

I can't ever run and hide

I won't compromise

'Cause I'll never know

I'm gonna close my eyes

I can't watch the time go by

I won't keep it inside

Freak out let it go

Just freak out let it go

You don't always have to do everything right

Stand up for yourself

And put up a fight

Walk around with your hands

up in the air

Like you don't care

'Cause I'm all right I'm fine

Just freak out let it go

Chorus

Let it go

On my own

Let it go

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Chorus

Just let me live my life

I can't ever run and hide

I won't compromise

'Cause i'll never know

I'm gonna close my eyes

I can't watch the time go by

I won't keep it inside

Freak out let it go

Freak out let it go (x 2)

-out-