just a minute ago,right after i did a lil' of piano i went to study.i was thinkin to myself,what's there to study.so i was thinkin why not read since i've got so much time.'sides i've not finished readin the virgin suicides.when suddenly this book i got from some book prize shit caught the my eye.i was think, gawwwddd, that's sucha boring book.but then i realised that if it were to be boring why wouldit be a bestseller and why would i win sucha book.so i took my chance and stared readin it and to my surprise , it was splendid.it's beautiful , really it is.you should read it , it's 'tuesdays with morrie'.thank you serendipity.(=.it's on how superficial life can get and how superficial we are.we're all blind and yes it's true.we're all chasing the wrong thing.for example , we're trying so hard to please our parents or friends but at the end of day , it's not something you want.it's someone elses dream.who cares what people say about you.it's your dream,it's your life.cause at the end of the you're only accountable to yourself.you're pleasin your parents you're givin up everything but when really at the end of the day it will be love, always will be.a friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend yesterday.why?he says he thinks she's to good for him when frankly someone else its the fact that someone else has caught his eye.how cliche you might say.but seriously to love is to make sacrifices.she might not be the most beautiful person physically.but on the insides , she's a goddess.he has failed to treasure her and for that he'll have his on karma cause after all this time , he has sadly not been able to see her through it all.

nerz surprise parteh was awesome dudes.gawwd ,i'm startin to sound so 'dude!where's my car'haha.well anyhows , there was cribin there was grindin bottomline is , there was dancin!i'm so addicted to it and i don't think it's gonna be one of those things where you just have a fetish for a minute and move on with life like an infatuation with dancin.sounds wrong?well ,i don't care.haha.i love alicia tan.dear alicia tan , i like the way you move.(=.haha.anyhows , i'm beat.so to all those out there who missed the parteh.HA HA HA LLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR.(=

Hello there,still unable to decipher me?Well,I'm delirious and I'm as weak as a lamb.as fucked up as my life may be , I still count myself serendipitous havin a pretty exciting life.full of bonafide shit.i'm sort of the ,' when you really love someone ' mood.well, mainly cause of the fact that i'm listening to the song right now.ok yes i know , how cheesy.i think seriously saying , my life would be empty if i didn't have anyone to love.i'd be pretty boring,i think.there ain't a day i wouldn't be thinking of you.you always leave me feelin so so low.i would have loved you when you're right ,loved you when you're wrong ,love you when you're weak,love you when you're strong.Take you higher when the world has got you feeling low.i'd give you my last, only cause i was thinking of you first.That's what's done when i really love someone.to 'the one' i bet you know it's been hard for me.to 'the man' i bet you are as oblivious to everything as ever before.you're somehow becoming insignificant to me.you are fading outta my life.so dear dad please , do something.

today is like any other pissin day.i've sort of been stressed the whole day.maybe it's just a slight case of lunar rhythms i don't know.but i guess my regarding my situation right now , i'm a pretty scared person.it's not cause i'm a wimp it's cause of some certain reasons which i don't think is too appropriate to reveal here.it's quite personal indeed.if you wanna know , just ask me.whenever you see me in school or whatever.i've also been what you may say , cold shouldering? , a friend.haha.it's not that we quarelled or whatever.don't get me wrong , i don't hate her either.it's the fact that i can't stand her and her crazyness that's driving me totally out of my oh-so-insane mind.bottomline is , i don't wanna get angry at her.somehow , its' been going no sweat hands down , my way.i really don't wanna get my facts wrong this time 'round.so every move i make i have to do it with caution that i might hurt her.cause i don't wanna go screwing our so called beautiful friendship up.the worse thing is , i can't go acting out of impluse like my usual self.i'm not being hypocritical here and sort of backstabbin her.frankly from my perspective i'm actually sort of being thoughtful here.cause i can say this without thinkin twice that almost EVERYONE can't face the music and dance.that's what i hate about people they ask for the truth not willing to face the facts and only hoping that they'll here what they want.which to me by the way, is plain fuckin fucked up so to whoever out there , please change the way you think cause it's most likely to be screwed up.thank you.

hello , my heart is on the ground once again and i don't mean shit to you.it's not even shit to you.won't you even pick it up an throw it in the bin for me?wait , there's someone new.but i'm afraid to love hello.let's me call the person hello for now.i'm afraid of fallin in love again.love is a selfish scary thing.will someone please tell me the what's the deal with first loves?why won't they just die.i wanna love hello but there's that factor holding me down.hello is beautiful.hello is what you say , perfect.hello is just like 'the one'.that's why i'm so afraid now.cause i know what's it like to love someone so so perfect.it's in the way you look at me.that makes me feel oh-so-crazy.afraid but with a tad of excitment.it leaves me wondering what kinds of strings were attach to that stare.makes me oh-so-silly and how i wish you only knew how i'm feeling now.all i've gotta say is ,you've left me simply afraid.

g'day one and all (= ,here is a , i don't know how longs worth of thoughts.




my thoughts are screamin in my head.example , FUCKIN HELL GET OVER HIM BITCH!!.what the fuck is wrong with me.i'm becoming so cold and infront of my friends i act all emotionless.cold and funny that's what i gotta be right!?it fuckin hell pisses me off.fuck it!and so a writer takes his or her pen and writes the words again ,all in love is fair.yes , now all about the ' i don't knows ' and ' whatevers '.i've just to come realise that i'm a very depressed person yes i am indeed.i've reccently become a boring person i've become anti-social bottomline is , i've become empty.
empty like a can of soda that just got dranked by a person who just ran a thousand miles cause him or her has been hurt by their special someone that they really loved and have used excersing as a form of stress relievin.i hate the fact that the way you are just mollifies me leaving me nothing but my dignity.'what's wrong with you' the most common phrase i've been hearing for the past few days.which i currently think is true cause i'm crazy.and you still definately are my only one(bird,you were right).i should stop pretending cause i definately don't wanna be anything that i've been trying to be lately.sometimes i question ' the one ' why does he keep doing this to me.i go to church every sunday.i am a devoted catholic.i pray , i sin , i confess , i repent.but still i ask why does he take everything away from me won't he just give me a chance?i love lit but sadly i can't take it.i love geog but again to my dissapointment i can't take it.worst of , the one thing i love most , art is a subject i can't take. i question him why do i have such a fatal flaw.which if you know me well , you'll know what i'm talkin about but if you don't then that's just too bad.cause i won't reveal it like this.it just plain embarassin.=/.isn't she loverly , isn't she wonderful i may ask.I'm obviously jealous.I'm obviously devastated.yes devastation, that's right.you always leave me in a state of devastation.hello there the can you help me?i'm fallin apart cause of you.i'm strong with words but weak in the heart.

some random pictures.laugh your asses out of us , admire us , hate us , love us. i don't give two fucks about you.(= thank you.









check out the professional ah beng , bird (=







made in india , alicia and eunice (=







crazy bitch always lazy.haha (=







gay partners' birthday , pusstit;oblivion;polly;crazy;my woman;nicole;son (=







i can put my two fists in my mouth , WANNA SEE? eunice (=







boo hoo you. -_- , crazy (=







spastication , crazy;my woman (=







black and white parteh , ian;elane;sean;polly;crazy (=

he'll be back for me , i promise.




that's what i use to pray for everyday.i use to tell myself , he'll realised how much he actually loves me someday.but that day never came.you know why?i bet you do.cause i'm an oblivious fool.i didn't see that big slap coming.false hopes high , indeed.sometimes , i just wished you knew.i wish you knew how i felt , how i , everything.you drive me crazy.i wanted you so bad.so bad that no one knew how bad it was.i just wished me prayers were answered.well ,if that's the way it gotta be then , so be it.if only you were with me.i would have shown you the world.how love should be.bottomline is , i woulda have loved you right.

I'm not trying to get emotional but I am getting emotional again.you may ask why , but I'm sorry I have no answer for that.its like I have this everlasting pain.it's indescribable.It's not as if i'm trying hard to let go of you.but i just can't break through.To me, one night with you is like,one step closer to heaven.I can't get this heavy load of my chest no matter how hard i try.I think even a forklift wouldn't help.I haven't cried for 2 weeks now.I really don't want to either its a record i'll keep going for as long as i can.eternity would be even greater if i could.i'll be just fine pretending that i'm all devil-may-care.right now , my teachers see me as a rebel.my friends , a clown.my mum , a devil.the man, he's oblivious to everything i've done for the past 4 fucking donkey years.my achivements,my failures whatever it was he was never there.if he wants to now , i think it'll be a lil' to late.i've grown up.to the man ,you've missed my childhood.the bottomline is ,you were never there.why am i holding back tears again just cause i promised myself that i'd never cry again?why are promises made when they're always meant to be broken.it's hard to say how much i've fallen in love with your beautiful side.but i don't love or like you anymore at least that's what i'm suppose to be feelin.but you'll always be that special someone to me.like when i was on the way home just awhile ago , i picked up a flower that had just fallen from a tree.it was beautiful , it was flawless.it was everything he is that i'm not.then i threw the flower in the air to me it signifies that i've let you go.i now that sounds crazy but that's me crazy.i'm a sentimental person but not OVER-sentimental like lizardo.when i'm alone my train of thoughts would fly like the wind i'd think back of stuff that just happened awhile ago or a long time ago.i don't know what i'm talkin about no more.so i think i shall stop here.g'bye for now , you.

I'm not trying to get emotional but I am getting emotional again.you may ask why , but I'm sorry I have no answer for that.its like I have this everlasting pain.it's indescribable.It's not as if i'm trying hard to let go of you.but i just can't break through.To me, one night with you is like,one step closer to heaven.I can't get this heavy load of my chest no matter how hard i try.I think even a forklift wouldn't help.I haven't cried for 2 weeks now.I really don't want to either its a record i'll keep going for as long as i can.eternity would be even greater if i could.i'll be just fine pretending that i'm all devil-may-care.right now , my teachers see me as a rebel.my friends , a clown.my mum , a devil.the man, he's oblivious to everything i've done for the past 4 fucking donkey years.my achivements,my failures whatever it was he was never there.if he wants to now , i think it'll be a lil' to late.i've grown up.to the man ,you've missed my childhood.the bottomline is ,you were never there.why am i holding back tears again just cause i promised myself that i'd never cry again?why are promises made when they're always meant to be broken.it's hard to say how much i've fallen in love with your beautiful side.but i don't love or like you anymore at least that's what i'm suppose to be feelin.but you'll always be that special someone to me.like when i was on the way home just awhile ago , i picked up a flower that had just fallen from a tree.it was beautiful , it was flawless.it was everything he is that i'm not.then i threw the flower in the air to me it signifies that i've let you go.i now that sounds crazy but that's me crazy.i'm a sentimental person but not OVER-sentimental like lizardo.when i'm alone my train of thoughts would fly like the wind i'd think back of stuff that just happened awhile ago or a long time ago.i don't know what i'm talkin about no more.so i think i shall stop here.g'bye for now , you.

I don't know what's the matter with this fucken world.If you're not musically inclined , please stop tryin just cause its the 'in' thing now.please its actually kind of down right disgusting.As in seriously ,it actually makes you look like a fool to older more sophisticated musicians.wonderin why this sudden topic?I was watchin top fun on channel 8.yeahhs, and the people who joined it can't sing their way outta a paperbag pls and the rappin?IT WAS HORRIBLE.i'm not tryin to sound intellectual here but yes , the level of sophistication there was , ZILCH.i don't mean to be frank here but i just can't help it.one of the girls who sang 'ai ni' by the cyndi wang sounded like she had permanent helium in her system.try thinkin about it , am i wrong to say yuck?Singapore as a matter of fact are giving everybody false hopes about how the industry is going to bloom in the future as a matter of fact , it definately won't with people like sly winning 2nd place in the Singapore Idol , i don't see why we should even bother learnin how to sing or play an instrument.we can just sing in our 'in the shower' voices and smile like a mongoliod and do hands signs that are basically wrong.gawwd ,it's so mean for me to say this but , if you don't know how to please don't do it.you are embarassin yourself on national tv.GAWWD, then why do people have to try so hard to have their own sense of style or paying for vocal lessons when we have so called 'music' like techno which is simply wrong.we can just talk and record it and at some sounds to it and there you have it , music.in the dictionary the meaning of music is ,' the arrangment of sounds MADE BY INSTRUMENTS or voices in a way that is pleasent or exciting. " first of , they already said made by instruments and in techno they just use this turn tables or whatever ready-made shit they have.secondly , they said pleasent or exciting which btw techno is missin every bit of.so why have techno?i say we should just burn all the techno cds away an dump it in outer space.(=

i'm a bad person.
i'm a selfish person
i'm going to hell
i'm a very fuckin borin person
i've got alot of great friends
i've got a weird disfunctional family , well sorta
i lie alot
i swear alot
i'm a bitch.
you should stay away from me
you should hate me
i'm very fat.
i'm very dark
i'm very ugly
no one likes me
they're just being friends with me
out of pity
i'm pathetic.
i'm gonna grow up to a taxi driver
i'm gonna be a spinster
i'm prejudice
i'm racist sometimes.
i'm not a people person
i'm a wannabe
i can't sing to save my life
i'm so untalented.
thank you , you don't wanna know me.
BYE

HELLO , today once again is , Sunday.todays' Sunday is not just any Sunday.It's bible Sunday not only that , it's 'the mans' birthday.what can say , ain't it just so special.right now , you've probably sensed the sarcasm.if you haven't , you're lost dude you truly are.anyhows , today's a pretty weird day for me as in seriously.i don't know.its like one minute i'm sleepin and the next moment when i wake up i become almost emotionless.in church i was feelin emotional and no , i didn't break down and cry.i was suppose to meet best friend.i waited for almost an hour.i figured she fell asleep so i went home.this time , i wasn't even angry.there wasn't even an inch on wrath that can be detected within me.i just went home feelin blank.bought food and went online.todays on hell of a fuckin boring day i must say.

hello , i'm weird.
thank you goodbye.

I feel inferior to you , physically hate the fact that somehow , to me ,I am better than you in alot of ways.not sayin i'm perfect.but its the fact that its always so easy for you.but its so hard for me.he gave me all this gifts.but i can't do nothing with them.i feel deprived.i hate this situation i am in.'the mans' birthday is on Sunday another day to feel depressed about.i'm havin lunar rhythms now which is makin every situation i am in seem worse.why am i pretendin that nothin is happening when everything i wished would never happen is happenin.its like my nightmare with deja vu.i'm so fuckin fustrated and i feel faintish.my mind is so painful.i can barely type.my eyes are turnin so fast.i can feel my brains twich a lil.its drivin me nuts.i hate the fact that there's no one for me to love.i hate the fact that i have this gut feelin its cause i think there ain't gonna be no one as perfect as you.i hate the fact that everytime i see you i still cant take my eyes off of you.i hate the fact that everytime i think of you i cant breathe.JESUS SAVE ME.

today's a sunday.yes , sunday.yesterday was a weird experience for me.shan't talk bout it to save a friends face.went out with momma the whole friggin day.met up with siewhwee and phoebe.waited for a fuckin hour and they didn't even call to tell me that they didn't know the way.worst of , they asked me to meet them at topshop and when i got there they weren't there.so i had to walk to a pay phone to call them cause i dont have a fuckin phone.but when i met up with em.i was too pissed my whole day got ruined by em.so i just left them i was fuckin angry and fed up.i mean hello , who doesn't know where wheelock is?fuck this shiat , forget it.the more i think about it , the more pissin it gets.anyhows , at home now.trying to get emo.yes , again.its becomin so cliche.i think i'm a melancholic.sorta , haha.i've promised myself that i will get through this.yes i will so i'm pretendin to like someone now.which to you guys ,is pretteh crazy.cause if you like someone , you like someone.how can you pretend right?!oh wells , its cause i have no one to write songs about so i'm just using this person but i'm still writing about the other person.okay,complicated.don't get me?go figure.=p.it feels like its raining in my head.raining with thoughts that is.alot alot alot and a hell alot of thoughts.i realleh want to talk to someone as in SOMEONE.but i have no idea who.i missed how things use to be as in when i was still that love sick puppy chasin you around as in, everytime i see you.my stomach would be filled with the butterflies.my shoes would grow wings and i'll start floating around in my mind.but i guess that butterflies flew out cause i dont get that funky feelin anymore i mean i still do but not as much as before.i use to wish for the fever to break.now i wish i wouldn't fade.cause i really do love you miss you and will always cherish you.so if i have said some weird stuff in the past , please forget i even did that.cause when i'm around you everything i'm tryin to say comes out wrong and its hard to come out right.so bye for now , i'm gonna take on the world.

i dont know whats wrong with me.i think i'm a freak.why does it feel like there's an earth quake in my head.idon't understand.
to think i wanted to know you.i tryin my best to let go ya' know.but its so hard.i was thinkin maybe it'd be easier if i had
someone else to like as like what lizard said , ' friends with potential '.but somehow there ain't anyone i can love , as in
if i wanted to turn crook it'd be so hard cause ya see the thing is everyone i know has someone to love example , eunice-princess,
bird-rachel,lizard-you-know-who,tanny-jeslyn,alicia-i dont know,phoebe-haojie,and the list goes on.i mean i want to ask anyone to spend like 2
weeks with me i just wanna know how it feels like to really love someone again.the last one wasnt counted cause it was in primary school
which was stupid goes to show you shouldn't have relationships when you dont understand love yet.anyhows , i realleh wanna know who does
it feel to love someone else treat the person right,i swear i'll be the sweetest thing ever , not bein thick skin.but yeahh.i'm realleh sad
cause i ain't got anyone to love.i love you still but thats different cause i'll never have you.i'm tired of runnin after you.jealousy just
slapped me in the face like that.its hard for me to get this over with and let go.in simple words , i cant break through.i need someone to
love i sound desperate but yeahhs.i really do.i wanna do things i've always dream of doing and no , not SEX.i know i've said this before but
i wanna give a person my all and make the person love me for who i am and break up with the person so i can hurt him or her.but i know i'd
prolly love the person cause i'm really not that kind of person.cause i know whats it like to be hurt.and you know whats the saddess thing
ever , its the fact that you still dont know me and never took the chance to and i never really got to know you well but from all i've heard
yer the greatest thing ever.but if i look on the brightside thanks to you i've matured alot over this period of time.which i would realleh like to
thank you for.




it's not that bad , you're just the best i ever had