dying to live or living to die?

The newspaper spoke to me today :

why do you want to be in this situation again?
If a once-stimulating tableau feels like it is on the verge of getting out of control, take a step back.
do you really want to keep heading down this path?

My city's still breathing but barely it's true
through buildings gone missing like teeth.
The sidewalks are watching me think about you,
sparkled with broken glass.
I'm back with scars to show.
Back with the streets I know.
Will never take me anywhere but here.
The stain in the carpet, this drink in my hand,
the strangers whose faces I know.
We meet here for our dress-rehearsal to say "I wanted it this way"
wait for the year to drown.
Spring forward, fall back down.
I'm trying not to wonder where you are.
All this time lingers, undefined.
Someone choose who's left and who's leaving.
Memory will rust and erode into lists of all that you gave me:
a blanket, some matches, this pain in my chest,
the best parts of Lonely, duct-tape and soldered wires,
new words for old desires,
and every birthday card I threw away.
I wait in 4/4 time.
Count yellow highway lines that you're relying on to lead you home.

There's always this time of the month
where you'd have what I like to call ' emotional fits '
where by you'd lose total control of all your emotions
so much so you become an open book.
almost like having your period only less physical discomfort
and easier to eliminate if enough will power.
but like your period there are ways to tune it out.
I listen to electro to become completely dazed.
I like being locked in a daze for a long time , lying on a cold hard floor and doing nothing but breathing just breathing.
cause sometimes I get so caught up in my thoughts I forget to breathe.

You have never been in love until you've seen the stars reflect in the reservoirs okay , so the photo is under exposed and well basically , pretty ugly.
but I kind of like the hand in the sky concept nonsense shit whatever you want to call it.
so we spent the morning taking photos for photography lessons
and our theme was 'love story' yes , I know! how corny right? .
haha but you know whatever the lecturer says goes.
I just got caught for wearing jeans to school 5 minutes ago.
I've to see the head later on. marisse marisse , always in trouble.
it seems like even when i'm trying to stay out of it , it just keeps looking for me.
if trouble was a person I'd stab him a million times.

My break starts on friday , I can hardly wait.
I get to hibernate , watch countless films , read and paint.
in other words , I'd be taking a major chill pill.

I am hungry , hungry for a holiday.


XX

kinda like music that's at the back of your head.

the weeks been rather fucked up. but I'm sure it'll all turn out fine by the weekend. ( trying this new thing where by I'd be a total optimistic self-righteous son of a gun ) I spent the night with the rich man's mistress at geylang for dinner caught a movie before that. I swear she's the funniest whining bitch ever. Incase you don't know who she is , she's my mum.

the boys will be going for a roadtrip on the weeked. which means early nights for me. yayza. hopefully the daytrip with cheryl and holls pulls through next week

ok for the sake of those who want the photos so badly , I'm free after the 23rd. ask me then , I'll be a better person then with a clearer mind. haha , ask me then. ok? bong? theresa? gwen? haha


XXX

a very tired cunt.

And he stole from the rich and the poor and not very rich and the very poor



here I finally am with time to speak.
But sadly , I've nothing to say.

Guards up , lips out , face down!

Life is beautiful?




When I retire , I wanna watch every film ever made.

Introducing the next big thing , Trella!

Bong

saf

Leon

Joey

Zac the sexy beast ( I SHOOK HIS HAND , 4 TIMES! )

I LOVE YOU BOYS! :)

TRELLAISTHESEXIESTCUNTSINTHEWORD _-_-_-_-@HOTMAIL.COM

OK , so the last entry was pretty errr , pathetic.
I hate feeling pathetic so I decided to delete it.

if you had to pick between love & life , which would you pick?
I mean I wouldn't really consider love part of life in a sense.
In a sense that love kinda takes you away from reality.
but you know that's just me. I'm pretty much a dreamer.
and life well , life's just you know your career , school well to put it simply, the rent.
so , which would you pick?

I get really scared when people have faith in me.
It's just feels so foreign.
Don't get me wrong it feels awesome but , I'm just so afraid I'll let them down.
and most of the time I do and in the process I let myself down too.
and I let myself down so many times it's an everyday thing already.
just like how people let me down.
I get disappointed so often , I just do not react anymore.
I become taciturn

iamboring.com.sg

my weekend
- friday with rese , alicia , chris & kian(?) at geylang was fun as usual ( transit 2 hours at nicoll hotel is 15 dollars for all you horny people out there )
- saturday with phoebe , siewhwee, pris , shanny , cheryl was good too managed to take a few photos then headed down to town to meet maddy , gwen , cheryl , zac , leslie , bryan & joey. played pool which I now totally suck at. Leslie is the shit at pool. haha

I can't remember what else I did , I'm off to watch spy game now.

for the fun of it :


TRELLA AND HYPERION @GASHAUS, 16th March!
16th March 2007, 3pm till late, 'Maximum @ Gashaus!' An excellent show of mixed genres with contrasting acts such as When Living Feels Like Dying, Trella, Hyperion and many more!
Tickets at $12 with a free drink..
Contact Bong(this effing cool dude that used to have an afro and looked like beni from city of god.he's quite a spasz but it's like a gift and he can't control it so give him a break. he's kinda autistic so take pity on him and watch trella. you don't know life till you know bong so contact him) at zokes_@hotmail.com to get yourself a ticket!


TRELLA AND CARACAL @HOMECLUB, 17th March!
17th March 2007 2pm to 10pm pre-Guerilla party featuring:
CUT DJs-Megahollytron, PCST, and Elias ,(http://www.myspace.com/comm_undies)
Indie rock superstar upstarts Caracal (www.myspace.com/caracalcaracal)
and young electrolytes Trella!
contact Holly or Bong or anyone else involved for a spot on the guestlist..
NOT TO BE MISSED! :)

After much procastination , Enjoi! :)