ok i know i've been sorta of a sober person for the past few days i still am but i think i've sort of cheered up.well , that's cause i've been listenin to happy songs more to the swing kinda songs.if you've got exsquitsite taste you'll prolly know who's cole porter.yeah , i'm listenin to his songs.they're jazz songs but more to the swing.very beautiful music and beautiful lyrics.very witty very very good.really helps me extenuate things.eally not in the mood for tv.so i'm gonna miss my thursday routine.i think old songs are really good as in the lyrics music everything the lyrics nowadays are so explicit but i'm not sayin i don't listen to em.i do alot.just sayin how stuff use to be so , pure.i know it sounds weird.but yeah.pure.like how stuff use to be like bein oblivious to almost everything.you hate bein oblivious to things but when we know about stuff.we start thinkin how stupidity is bliss.anyhows , i'm actually kinda glad i'm kinda over the 'in love with someone' stage because i cant make sense in what you've done when i start to cry and start to run you actually didn't do anything to hurt me.no , actually you did.just by bein yerself has hurt me alot.why do you have to be so perfect.i think i was actually over you but i just really didn't wanna let go cause i was afraid and i didn't know what to do.it still hurts me when i listen to sad songs just thinkin about the past , you my dad , my mum , EVERYTHING.so for now , just look ahead and i'll try my best to smile without hiding a billion tears.(=

as you fuckers can see in the below entry , i've officially become boring.yes , boring like how thing were before , BORING.'sides the friends factor that is.you know wanna know what to do when the one you love is with somebody else , technically he ain't but its realleh obvious he's still loves jayne.what do you do when there's nothing you can do about it.its plain easy.its actually common sense.3 words.deal with it.yeahhs.the way i deal with things is by running away.yes RUNNING AWAY.its just always like that.and after running away from the problem situation shit thing whatever.i'd start reminiscing bout it and be filled with regret like , why didn't do this the other time or that or whatever.i'd ponder on it and the more i do the more fucked i get.whatever , the word most commonly used in my vocab.thats what you guys know thats all.you guys think whatever means i'm running away but i'm sorry to dissapoint you but your fuckin hell wrong and neither does it mean its a no strings attach kinda whatever.my whatevers always have a meanin behind it like , case senario one , yes it sounds like some scientific shiat.bear with me alright?so anyhows , example when eunice and or or lizard are teasin me bout my skin colour or whatever when i say whatever i means its either so cliche cause they've said it a billion zillion times and its not funny anymore or it really has hurt my feelins and i'm just smiling and sayin i'm ok when truth is i was then , hidin a million tears.yes , i do have feelings.i know i'm fat ugly dark and fully indian or whatever but i do have feelings.well, cause you see the thing is you guys realleh don't know me.you guy never did still dont and will never know me.unless i tell you guys that is if i'm drunk or something.which apparently will never happened.when i tear its either cause i'm tired or emo.if you realleh know me you will know when i'm actually crying which you guys obviously will never be able to tell apart the tears.and this time 'round will never get the chance to cause after my last cry , i promised myself i'm never gonna ever forever as long as i can cry.

i've been tryin for the past hour to get emotional yes , weird?but hell no i ain't weird.cause you see the thing is , i'm actually quite an emotional person.i think i get jealous easily.basically its usually cause i'm realleh not a beautiful person as in physically.mentally i dont know.people think i'm a person that never takes anything or anybody seriously but the truth is i realleh do.see you guys realleh don't know but sooner or later you guys are gonna see right through me.if you dont i'll eventually open up.i'm a realleh confused person.right now , i think i'm sorta back to square one as in not the in love square one.as in i've got nobody to love not as in i have a boyfriend i dont like anyone.its back to the days i randomly selected tricia to like and true enough i realleh fell for her beautiful side see when i like someone their flaws are so insignificant to me already.i don't know man.i realleh wanna fall in love with someone.but this time without sheddin tears like what you, the past , had done to me.i wanna realleh fall in love with someone.i'll realleh treat the person right.but well i guess , i'm just gonna grow up to be a spinster.to him it realleh didnt matter how i felt inside.this life is sucha game sometimes.just that i'm always on the losing side as in im always the one endin up hurt.love is selfish love is blind.it makes me jealous makes me go outta my mind.jealousy.tsktsktsk , jealousy.well this time its what helped me realised that things between me and him are realleh not go any furthur.well then to love , i say goodbye.i'm not gonna cry anymore or feel emotional.i'm gonna be this cold person and the party animal everyone expects me to be.ok so well , fuck you all. (=

just came back from alicia's parteh it was realleh good actually on account that it was a last minute planned parteh.the turn out was actually great yeahhs.the parteh started out not exactly great.but slowly the moood started to change we started socializing and everthing.met some people like , sean tan which btw is esther tans' brother yes , what a small world indeed , sean , kun yao , ian , mark , russell , derrick and alota other people.i was realleh suprised that esmond actually turned up alicia's right as in the people we expected to turn up realleh didnt and the people we didnt realleh did.well , life is unpredictable.anyhows , the drinks were great.great job mixing the drinks eunicey.hahaha.lucy and lizzie.nevermind i shall refrain from embarassin.there are to much stuff to say about the parteh yeahhs.i think one page just ain't gonna be enough.yeahhs.stuff indescribable happened.actually the entertainment wasnt that bad it was only the dancin yeahhs no one realleh wanted to dance cause there were tooo many guys.yeahhs.but actually thats not the point about dancin its not to show off how great you can dance.dancin is the voice of yer inner soul.yeahhs.some people wanted to dance actually wanted to dance example , ian.but by the time he wanted to , everyone was beat.hahaha stupid ass.esmond said something that got me like all ponderin, ohs wells.anyhows , the kun yao and the tents thing was damn funneh and the spellin game with him when he got wasted was realleh fuckin funneh.they are realleh nice people.the 'bondin' at the so called back yard will truly be remembered.hahaha.gawwd, i sound like im goin to die.but seriously , alicia , it was nice (=

when i was listenin to this song just now it realleh made alota sense to me as in every mornin i wake up i put on this face thats gonna get me through the day it doesnt realleh matter how i feel inside right?i doesnt realleh matter how your friends is feelin on the insides as well.we all put on this big fake smile or our normie faces so we can get on with our lives and so our friends will not ask us are we a'righht or whatever but realleh deep down inside you just wished they could see yer real side.i think i've decided to quite the detergent commercial act and get on with reality im gonna express myself the way im suppose to which right now i have no idea how to.well , you see the thing is the stuff i've sad above isn't realleh bout you guys its mostly me yes mock me call me a selfish bitch its all about me yada yada yada but i think the bottomline is we or i realleh need to open up.thats it.g'nighht my friends

Some days I sit , starin' out the window
Watchin' this world pass me by
Sometimes I think there's nothin' to live for
I almost break down and cry
Sometimes I think I'm crazy
I'm crazy, oh so crazy
Why am I here, am I just wastin' my time?
Sometimes it feels like the world's on my shoulders
Everyone's leanin' on me
'Cuz sometimes it feels like the world's almost over
But then he comes back to me
People make jokes cuz they don't understand me
They just don't see my real side
I act like shit don't phase me
Inside it drives me crazy
My insecurities could eat me alive
But then I see my baby
Suddenly I'm not crazy
It all makes sense when I look into his eyes




too good to be original
i got it from a song just edited it a lil
g'nighht fuckers (=

today was GREATT (=
first of i had a not
like every other year's
depressin father's day
cause i celebrated with
meh grandpapa (=
anyhows , then met up with
kristle and MY WOMAN
which btw is VICKY (=
anyhows , eunicey alicia
tehknee phoebe bird nerz
and esmond were suppose to
come.but in the fuckin end
did not but we had fun anyhows.(=
so i wont hold it against em'
anyhows , we went for the
ROCK ON SINGAPORE FEST
yesterday and today (=
it was ROCKIN GOOD FUN!!uh-huh
the malays there were sultry.HAHA
i have a current fetish yer malays.
i dont know i just think they're cool
by nature.so funky.wanna be one
i can sure be one if want to
cause of my ultra brown skin colour.
and no one will think i'm a poser.
yeahhs.anyhows,i think fatskunks
electrico and rolnin are realleh cool
although the guy from ronin looks
like sly but has a nice bod but realleh
cannot dance to save his fuckin life.
and the guy that i think who's pretteh cool
didnt smash his guitar so that i can have
a piece of it.but overall they're realleh
ROCKERS with the capital R (=.
vick and i danced our friggin hearts out
oh yeahhs saw beatrice with nikk at
topshop wisma too.yeahhs, i know what yer
thinkin dudes but no , they aren't together
anyhows,as i was sayin yesterday at the fest
vick went on stage and head banged
correction , body banged hahaha.
she was pretteh cool indeed
i think she should have won
against that indian girl yeahhs
so they made it a draw.
but whatever so long they had fun
plus the prize was fugly
anyhows , we wenta yogadi bearodi luciferishy
which btw is , eunice yong 's house
hahaha , vick said it was
like a pettin zoo
and eunice of course had to be the animal
then i started havin wild imaginations
of her actin like a gorilla . yeahhs
haha i know weirddddd.LMAO
anyhows ,




CHEER UP EUNICE (=

today once again is
FATHER'S DAY
which apparently i celebrated
with my grandpa (=
HAPPY FATHERS DAY!!<33
every year i dread this
particular holiday.
but this year i guess,
it was pretteh a'righht (=
that's a first. haha
anyhows , today is the
rock on singapore part two
yeahhs cant wait.((=

life is so unpredictable




this morning when i woke up
correction , this afternoon
when i woke up i called my
bestfriend who i shall not
name because its best that
i keep this low profile
for awhile till she's
ready to open up.yeahhs.
so as i was sayin.
one minute we were all jokin
the next minute she recieved
a phone call sayin her dad
had passed away.this sounds cliche
but life is so unpredictable
i'm realleh worried bout her
but as for a dad ,
i'm realleh happy for him
if God thinks its his time
so be it righht?
cause ain't he gon' be in a
better place after all
he doesnt have to experience
the end of the world
which btw, i think is coming
which is good righht?
as for my best friend ,
i think what she
realleh needs now is
moral support,and obviously
the magic word , LOVE.
from this i've learnt
never say never
cause you never know what
the future holds.
like when you were in primary
school.does BEST FRIENDS FOREVER
sound familliar.its so cliche
but the term is used
but never actually practiced
cause once yer in high school
you start to drift apart
and the term has totalleh taken the
back seat in the yer life
the term has become so i
nsignificant.
but as time passes ,
it will be used again
yes , with yer new best friend
but this time you never know
whether forever is for real ,
cause the bond is stronger
and as i have said
life is so unpredictable




GOD , GRANT BEST FRIEND STRENGTH (=

wassup china.
vick , yer parteh
was radical.IN THE END.
no offence though.
but i realleh love you anyway (:
i aint got no flo tonight
so night ya'll ((=




yo vicky its yer burfdeh ,
its yer burfdeh we're gon'
parteh like its yer burfdeh

wassup folks(=
today is one of days
where i'd stay home and start to sober
yes , fuckers sober
people always have this fix image in their fuckin
screwed up minds about me
they always think i'm this party animal
with no emotions and sober
will never be a word i'd have in my vocabulary
well guess what fuckers you're wrong

AND SO I SKIPPED HOME




BACK HOME FINALLY
YES FUCKTARDS I SKIPPED HOME
SOMETIMES I'M SO UNBELIEVABLE
TODAY I WOKE UP A LIL SAD
BUT HAD FUN THE WHOLE FRIGGIN DAY
THANK YOU CHINAS!! ((=
ANYHOWS.we were suppose to go
ta veekees' house today
but we didn't we ended up goin
to eunicey yongey the bear's house
anyhows.had alota fun
sulynn siewhwee and phoebe
came along too ((=
after that wenta grapevine
met up with an na her sista
which i have no idea whats her name
its either nicole or nicola
she's pretteh cool i guess
anyhows met up with alicia
rachel and celeste(spell?)
yeahhs.vick siewhwee and rachel
went home ahead.yeahhs
went home with alicia and celetse
yeahhs.skipped home pretteh high
HAHAHA.no idea why either
anyhows. HOME SWEET HOME
HAPPY BIRTHDAY VICKY!!!
i love my sweet gay partner((=
i'm beat. fuck you ((=

TODAY WAS A'RIGHHT I GUESS
THE DAY STARTED OUT PRETTEH BAD EH
yeahhs.but shall forget bout it
dont wanna make myself depressed
WELCOME BACK POK!! ((=
i've missed you dude.
if you darn fuckin readers dont know
what the hell am i talkin about
its cause i havent mentioned that
i wenta see jenny at the airport
with bird wenta see rachel an-na
and dionne too.((=.totalleh fun
THANK YOU BIRD!! as in for the day
it was fun.i was a lil` depressed at first
anyhows. had alota fun my china. ((=
DUDE!! where's my car..
cant stop shufflin yer hair
its gettin pretteh addictive
hey phoebe , siewhwee cheer up my besties ((=
LURVEE YA GUYS.

yesterday.woke up at 10
called vick about 5 times
to wake her friggin hell up
damn it she sleeps like a dead log
HAHAHA.BUT I LOVE HER!!((=
wenta meet bird and zoe at the station
wenta sentosa together
but before that we wenta get some stuff
like apples ((= sushi and drinks
and VICKY'S breakfast.HEH
when we got there we met up wit
amanda sijia kristle and glynnis.
we swam for like i don't know
how many damn friggin hours.
we tanned . yes people .i tanned too
i got new tan lines ((=.YEAHHS.
kris sijia and birdeh got tanned like
friggin hell man.HAHAHA.esp. kris ((=
after that brought birdeh kris and vick
for some job interview thing
later , met up with the rest at grapevine.
oh yeahhs! HAHAHA forgot to mention bout'
the walk back to the mrt from sentosa
damn friggin hell funneh i tell ya.
vick and i were playin our so called
'dare game' hahaha.i made vicky eat some plant
HAHAHA.she made me bite some divider crap.
we both chased buses cars lorries u name it
anyhows.we played pool at grapevine ate
wenta phoebs house after that then
HOME SWEET HOME ((=
called up phoebs and all
i'm sorreh eunice. HAHAHA
kept on teasin her.
its actually quite fun.
but i don't hate you ((=
I LOVE YOU TOOO MUCH MAN!! HAHAHA

today
woke up late
didnt go for trng
dont know whether i'm gettin the job
at the soup spoon. siewhwee got the call
i didn't i feel realleh angry at myself
like what the hell went wrong
i prayed and everything
i hope i get the job realleh want it
and i realleh need it.=/
gonna meet the rest at 4.30
to study ((=
then we're goin for my church crap
then after that fetch jenny from the
airport.CANT WAIT. I'VE MISSED HER.
been missin dorry too.
gonna miss candiceHO too ((=
HAVE FUN MY FRIENDS LMAO

sometimes i wonder
should i walk away from this life
should i forget about you
must i let go
must you walk on by
if only you could tell me why
why did you hurt me
why did you let me go
when my heart started to flow
if only you could tell me how
how this shit started
how did it get this far
i've said this once
i'm gonna say it again
STUPIDITY IS BLISS
if you were dumb
you won't know how lurvee feels like
and i wish i never found out
gawwd.i hate this friggin life
i wanna walk away from it
start a new life
as someone else
but that'll never happen

missed the ' midnight affair '
filled regret now.
thanks to nerizza. =/
HAHAHA. kiddin
cause she made it sound sooo good.
but anyhows.chillin wit
hwee alicia lizard and eunice
was realleh fun too.
thanks alicia for the skirt
so damn sweet.HAHAHA.
ate sushi.was sucha rip off.
hahah. and the ' shake it up baby '
taxi uncle was pretteh cool
alicia's house is damn nice.
town was fun.
the conversation on the phone
wit eunice and siewhwee was fun too
OUR LIL SECRET HAHAHAHA
wenta study wit phoebs
eunice siewhwee and yinwen today
didnt study much
compass sucks totally.
HOME SWEET HOME =))