when I close my eyes , I like what I see.
Inside my mind that is.
I like to dream about the stars above , once in a while
but you know how sometimes being in love with someone
can be well sometimes , manipulative?
cause I've got the strangest feeling that It happened to me.
But by now that I've realised it , it's too late to turn back.
I used to wish to be every little thing you wanted all the time.
But I realized that I'm not all about that.
I was like a puppet and you were the puppet master
all that superficiality , oh God fuck no.
I ain't much of that kind of shit
I wished I could be every little thing you wanted sometimes.
I didn't even have a mind of own.
People don't know that I actually like being quiet and alone
But don't get me wrong I love people namely , my friends
that's why I don't get much of the alone times
making friends and other shit my first priority.
God , come and take me home lead me to your door.
at least just for awhile.Dishwalla's on right now
In the mood for a little reflection.
I blocked out my feelings it's great that I've become numb
I havent cried over selfpity for awhile.
But I blocked out the feelings completely till I lost myself
in the process.Ain't I brilliant? How can someone actually do that
well , I did to hell I did.Now , I take quite long to register
the way I feel sometimes I take an hour sometimes a day sometimes
even a week.For instance I wanted to blog about how I've been
feeling but I realised that, hey! I don't even know how I feel now.
Do you ever sometimes find yourselves thinking , Oh shit I forgot to
breathe.well , that's how I am sometimes when I get to engrossed into
something.Like just a minute ago , I finally realized how I've been
feeling that I almost didn't breathe for awhile.
Maybe I should some of the feelish thing back aye?
I don't want to go to sleep every night thinking
hmmm what should I dream about tonight?
Even more so I don't want to wake up thinking of nothing.
I love having the sunlight flood my eyes every morning
and being able to smile myself thinking , today's going to wonderful
and being able to have all my emotions overwhelm me with desire to
do something crazy with Vicky or Phoebe or Stacy or whoever
( the list goes on )so I can have my thoughts simmer down.
I think I think too much sometimes.
I was walking home the other night passing the usual route
having to pass the football court near my crib. I looked up
and saw the amazing beauty of sky so much so I had to lie on the ground
and absorb the moment.sometimes I think I'm a weirdo.
oh well , am I to complex to comprehend?
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