ok , I've finally absorbed the fact that you're gone.

bye bye beautiful.today someone who connected with me before died.he's my mother's band mate and I haven't really spoke to him in awhile but you know how some people just affect your life in a way even if its so subtle that you don't really notice that it's even there and when the person is gone you realise , hey! you've affected my life and I want to thank you for that but , he's gone.Sometimes We all wonder , why can't God just take to bad guys away why does he always have to take the good ones.but soon you realise that their time on earth is over.They've done their part to affect you life and they never really die because they still are very much alive in our minds be it vaguely , subconciously or vividly.But there's also the why God why?! what about me?I'm suffering so badly without him and that just goes to show how your suicide/death will kill alot of people emotionally so why make the ones around you suffer.akira , don't kill yourself.this summer is going to bleed my heart dry and I know it.I'm going to be emotionally ready for it and I can't believe I'm lying through my teeth again.It's going to kill me.I want you to lead me on.Please don't go stay , please?things like death & love will never change.Once its done it'll forever be there in our hearts like I've said , vaguely , subconciously or vividly.And Death & love a like , they're unpredictable.There goes another eye-lash wish dedication going to you.I feel like I've known you all my life.If we talk , we'd probably talk all night about the rest of our lives and when you're down I'll never leave.Please don't let me crumble on my kitchen floor , cry and realise that you were never meant for me , please?


and there's another guardian angel watching over us.