I have trying for the past half an hour or so to fall asleep cause there's church tomorrow but I can't budge.the amount of thoughts in my head cause size up to the amount of water there is at wild wild wet the theme park at downtown east for those of you poor souls who've not been out & about. Why can't I sleep? I guess it's cause I've been really afraid lately.afraid of everything all the pressure that I've been trying to avoid for the past two years of my life are all starting to weigh in kick in whatever point is , I've become a prisoner to my own expectations. I feel the need to impress and when I don't get the feedback that I want it becomes utterly demoralizing I guess it's cause I've never actually been happy with what I have.sometimes I wish the big man up there would just take away everything I have till the point if someone were to give me a water bottle it'd be my world but of course , It'd be hard and I'm not much of a fan of that department.you know sometimes I really wouldn't mind flying away to the states and become a total loner & loser and die there knowing that not many people care about my existence there. haha the irony.