Halloween didn't turn out so bad after all! I really enjoyed myself besides the part where I wore a very very repulsive not even funny or cool costume all is well! :)

I think I've set myself record of 15 hours of the OC. haha , I must be depressed but if it's cause of the fact that I lost my job, I must be pathetic!Being the only person awake at stacy's place kinda gives me the idea that maybe i'm really not much of a big house person.I feels so empty and cold at this time of the morning , really.



the dawn is breaking , there goes my monday blues (:

A very good evening to everyone who's reading this and minimizing the loneliness in my heart haha, I've been pretty much home all day and it's my off day.how depressing! But I'll get over it within the next 2-3 minutes of this song I'm listening to. But there ain't nothing like spending your Sunday with your bestest friends in the whole wide world.God , I feel like I'm eight again. So today was the whole usual routine of going to mass with Theresa(and my mum) and mope about how it's always only the two of us and stuff.(WOULD ANYONE LIKE TO JOIN OUR LITTLE LONELY CLUB?WE'D BE HAPPY TO RECRUIT,REALLY! NO NEED FOR AND AUDITION EVEN!) then we had lunch at the usual place everything was so 'usual' but except the part where I spent say an hour or two? Reading(alone again , naturally)at the coffeeshop after Theresa(and my mum) left for home.Met up with phoebe and she finally got her hair cut and we spent the day watching the OC and youtube-ing for a while. My life is so exciting! haha please note the sarcasm.

okay , with that said. I've got no plans tomorrow! I turned Julia down and I don't know why but I thought maybe just maybe I'd spend one of my most favourite 'holidays' alone and this holiday would be halloween.oh well , I'm not going to attempt jumping into my pool of self pity and find myself at the end of the night drowing in my tears.tears , self pity definitely a big no no to end my oh so wonderful Sunday aye? haha , I have no life but well , I'm going to try to keep being happy cause this 'stay happy' plan isn't so bad after all! At least I've learned how to numb myself again. Okay , starting tomorrow one meal a day from now on it's time I did something for myself though the phrase ' I talk about myself a lot ' is such and understatement. Okay this ego thing and this babbling shit thing has got to stop. Good night cruel worldddddd haahahah!

sometimes I wish I was the both of you.

Nothing to declare , Hear me toby(no photos sadly) & vertical rush's the bomb yo! haha

if you're wondering why I'm give up. It's obvious

I'll stop & numb it.

I need Daria

Today was a good day , I've been much happier lately you know practicing the whole be happy with what you have thing.It actually works! I mean I do tend to think too much and stuff like that but it's really kind of stupid.I'm so much happier being numb.I even managed to get alot of things done on my list such as repairing that damn camera! I'm going to take much better care of it now.haha , I don't want to have to travel all the way back to habourfront again though I got a lift there from cindy ( thanks babe! )Thank Theresa for today , I love you very much!Now that I've a friend like you what more can I demand from that big man up there? haha , you never fail to make me laugh at your stupid antics haha. Finally caught up with Zoe , Emo , lizzie , tehknee and of course , biggay. Thanks guys I've not been able to laugh quite like that in a while. Though we are undeniably immature and embarassing. We still have fun no doubt! haha , next week OK go video k! see you guys soon. Thanks for the walk home Emo & leezoo! :)

Thank God it's friday! I've work tomorrow though , come visit me if you can! give me a call whatever I'll be happy to entertain you! haha , cause I'm such a freak and loner with no friends haha! be well all!

I'd rather be happy then anything else in the world and I can proudly say that I am for now. Love doesn't make the world go round it just makes people dizzy. ( where did I get that from?!) Good night folks, I've got work & lessons tomorrow.be well!

haha you know this thing called love? It's kinda boring now.yes , I know I can't draw to save my life but it's all for fun okay! leave me alone! heh james frey jame frey here I cumm in my phwantzz.

Sheep in wolf's clothing

no sign of life

no sign of life

someone please take me out to somewhere new

please forget what I said

please forget what I did

thank you

I miss school already.

I have trying for the past half an hour or so to fall asleep cause there's church tomorrow but I can't budge.the amount of thoughts in my head cause size up to the amount of water there is at wild wild wet the theme park at downtown east for those of you poor souls who've not been out & about. Why can't I sleep? I guess it's cause I've been really afraid lately.afraid of everything all the pressure that I've been trying to avoid for the past two years of my life are all starting to weigh in kick in whatever point is , I've become a prisoner to my own expectations. I feel the need to impress and when I don't get the feedback that I want it becomes utterly demoralizing I guess it's cause I've never actually been happy with what I have.sometimes I wish the big man up there would just take away everything I have till the point if someone were to give me a water bottle it'd be my world but of course , It'd be hard and I'm not much of a fan of that department.you know sometimes I really wouldn't mind flying away to the states and become a total loner & loser and die there knowing that not many people care about my existence there. haha the irony.

Finally got brainticia cleaned but the guy didn't do much cleaning cause I can still see this fucking annoying black dot on my viewfinder , thank god it was free but I got brainticia a filter finally! After cracking the last one I've learnt my lesson , hopefully =/ anyhow , spent the day at my grandma's place watching bollywood movies haha I didn't understand a word but there were subtittles! yay for subtittles! Headed down to town around six-ish to read and meet up with the rest of my old buddies. Thank you all for being there for and my time of need.I say , the greatest friends you'll ever find are the ones who'll eat what they saw you cook! haha , thank you all. been rather depressed lately not cause I'm an emo dude haha more of I think my lunar rhythms are coming soon.oh the joy. note the sarcasm. I spent 5 hours on youtube yesterday and just a minute ago I searched on 'what to do with my life'. guess what came out? an ad on some insurance crap. oh marisse , what were expecting anyway. okay good night and happy birthday theresa (:



we're all dying to live in a world we're living to die for ,
did that make sense?

I DECIDED TO READ MY HOROSCOPE FROM FOOBLE & THIS IS SUPER FUNNY!

You have to be a real loser to be born a Libra. Libras are born with two left hands, both of which grow out of their ass. They are tone-deaf and generally have poor eyesight. The senses of self-esteem and humor are in embryotic states at best.
Libras never have any money, their love life is usually a non-starter and they have notoriously bad luck both at work and at home. Pictures of mediocrity, they are incapable of standing out, surprising, outperforming.
Genetically unable to make any decision, they begin to convulse and sweat profusely whenever faced with a choice more important than "paper or plastic?". This is why their whole life they let others decide for them.
While they love to present themselves as patrons of the arts, their knowledge in the area runs no further than they can throw a grand piano.
Libras often end up writing tear-jerking memoirs full of half-truths and embellishments.


HOW ENCOURAGING AYE?

babe's birthday party didn't turn out that bad after all cause we finally got to hang out again like old times we as in V , B & D. I miss you guys thanks so much for tonight it's been a long time since i've last that hard.the name game was really retarded. anyhow , my babes are together finally. well , let's hope it'll last. I've nothing much to say but good night world , really. (:

without the british accent , cross my heart and hope to die.

today I started the day looking like a the homeless but it's all good. I've been thinking alot lately about what I'm actually gonna do with my life.If I actually really have one which shouldn't be any time soon if I start working but it's all good. I've been thinking of switching to non-digital which should be when I get my first pay check when ever that'll be cause I feel that digital is much too tiresome with everyone always asking for photos and stuff.I can't deal with that now. Oh , and I also feel like being anti-social for a while. I mean people really exhaust me. Maybe I'm just saying this cause it's the morning and I've got the triple eyelid thing or maybe cause I'm reading a really angsty book but right now , I think I can say I mean it. see you folks!



I gave up myspace within 10 minutes & I am really embarassed with my photos.

Just a little more exposure and you'll know what you're actually getting yourself into.

wish me luck!

I swear blogger's being annoying not letting me upload my photos right.
ok , ain't nothing like getting locked out of the house for about 8 hours
and having your neighbours come to your rescue with a bottle of water
the size of the basketballs stacked up on top of each other
being locked out of the house & stuck with a mini library in my bag
left me no choice but to read so randomly picked a book out
and started reading a million little pieces by james frey
awesome book I must say! He's probably the most fucked up
person I've read of besides kurt cobain & misty of diary(C.Palahniuk)
ok , so coming home to a proper meal & astrud gilberto , fresh from church
wasn't half bad i mean , considering the fact I got locked out.
anyway , I leave you here. good night world

Hello, how are you?
Like your shoes, love your hair.
Hello, how are you?
Love that shirt, you look great.
Hello, how are you?
Love your pants and your smile.
Hello, how are you?
Love that hat on your head.
Hello, how are you?
Missed you so; it's nice to see ya.

the words keeping spinning over and over my head
"what am I thinking about , what am I thinking about"
only to block all other thoughts out
why have I become so vulnerable?
once again , I'm hanging by the thread.

sorry , no mood for a picture.
right now , I've never been so afraid in my life
I wish I could throw myself off the building
but then again , there's that religon thing going on
so I basically , can't kill myself.
Jesus , save me. You were suppose to be on my side


):

If you can't beat 'em then join 'em

Finally , school tomorrow.Something I'm going to miss for sure.I can't believe it's all going to be over by wednesday.my life , everything I can't believe I'm leaving it all behind.ok , i've lost my flow.good night sick sad world.

FINALLY FINALLY , THANK YOU I LOVE YOU

yes ter day to day kill ed me.

my tagboard is down , sadly

It's 7.50 in the morning my interview's in about an hours time , I'm a filled with emotions you cannot describe and I don't know why & I've gotta give it to you J , it's definately not the interview that's bothering my mind's actually rather vacant.I am so afraid of lying on the bed right now cause I know I'll go straight to sleep.yes , I've yet to catch some shut eye. interview , interview here I come. Please J , give me the Job.If I don't get it I swear it's going to demoralise me.

ok , i have no mood for a good picture.

but anyway, that was my yesterday.

I woke up at 4 in the fucking afternoon & headed to church.headed down to town due to a change of plans to meet alicia , chris , kc & gabriel. Had fun , had dinner at fish&co the most dreadful place on the face of the earth.anyway , I have a job interview in 4 hours & I'm awake cause I can't sleep and I have this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach.Everyone's asleep so I talk to esmond.Every sound in the room is being amplified.My fat fingers typing sound like bombs being thrown down to the city & I'm hooked on to yet another song.God please save me , I'm in love again. Why?

I'm so afraid my heart won't work
I cannot sleep
I cannot breathe and this time
It isn't the asthma

it's 3.18 and every single sound in the room is being amplified to the highest power.Every possible thought in the world has ran through my mind and it hurts so bad the music deafens out.deafens out.I can't think anymore.somedays , you just feel more alone then you've ever felt in the past 16 years of your life well , or so you say.

okay , so my photos aren't great so?
no america please?
life's only just actually starting to work out.


...sadly