what I do every night , you know my secrets.


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An overdose of korean movies.touchy touchy , mush mush.The tears roll of slowly and out of my lids.I should have been flabaghasted why didn't I react?I've been secretly falling apart more on the inside than the outside.I feel like a third person watching myself like my soul has left the body and I'm just watching myself get cut my tall sharp crispy yellow grass.It cuts slowly and leaves me bleeding almost to death , I feel the pain but I don't.The me I'm watching is dying slowly of the excruciating pain and Istead of helping , I sit there and tilt my head in awe of the moment.I lids meet for a second or two my head spins.And as I open up my views, they squint as it floods with daylight and red. She,Me.I'm almost dead.But still , I stand staring how queer.let's see what'll happen.I walk home and find everything unreal.like I can almost see the outlines of my hands and of the buildings.I talk to a friend.she keeps talking her mouth is moving and I suddenly feel like we're strangers and this is the first time we've ever spoken.I stand there tilt my head again , the speed of the sound travels so fast , I trip and I fall again.You've said something you shouldn't have.I stand up squint my eyes again and the tears rest on my lids.I hold back,smile and walk away.sometimes I think I think too much.what I'm saying is almost incomprehendable to a outsider unless you know what I'm talking about or you're experiencing my insanity.I sound delirious.whats happening.there's like another me.trapped I feel tied down the chains are so heavy.I must get out.take away my emotions.I'm scared and lost in my darkness.I see her she takes the broken glass and contemplates death.Her childhood flashes in an black and white and in minutes , she's gone.