long goodnights , I miss those times.

woke up to the sound of banging on my wall,

it's either my neighbour's house is under attack by tiny little bombs

or they're having their house renovated.

noice-holics , quiet-phobics.

I don't get these people can't they have their fucking renovations in the fucking afternoon

it's only fucking eleven o'clock you know.

was planning to fucking hibernate ahh well , might be God's will or something.

Though I woke up with the side of my head cracking with my brain ready to run out

and find a more quiet place to rest , it ain't that bad.

at least , I had inspiration to do up the photo above.

I say , inspiration comes in the weirdest times and places.

from the toilet to a plain morning such as this.

ok , I forgot to breathe again.It happens everytime I'm deep in thought

I think I might die if I was one of those non-conforming kinds.

alrighty , so I should be having lunch with leesh later and will be rushing home

let's hope I'll have someone in the bus to calm me down from rushing home later.

today's the day that krunk happens , let's hope I'll have fun

or I'll be pissed off and will fucking hibernate for the whole of tomorrow.

and will be incontactable , alrighty , marisse is going to get breakfast now

so once again , be well my friends (:

I don't live here anymore ,
Alone at last sleeping to help ease my pain and i take it back you'll never be this close to me and i breathe in deep it helps me to avoid this state you've put me in. Your tupertine dreams , my hotel room friends.Imagine that , living a life like that.Coming home everyday to a drug addict husband and you as a whore.ok , trackback.I'm always so random.Hello world , today was teacher's day at my school and it was also aces day! Had a fun time with V and the rest banging pots and pans and shouting crude phrases in the crowd and making very twisted faces.studying with nigel was equally as fun and dinner with alicia was awesome.I've gone blank so , goodnight all (:

What am I to you?

it just hit me that I'm about to be officially 16 in exactly a month's time

yes , big deal but it's usually this time of the year I see how much I've actually grown

both in size and in my mind.

It hit me how many phases I've been through

from the cheena ah lian basketballer to the bitch to the I must be emo phase

and now , I'm just marisse , plain marisse.

I've done so many stupid things in my life I can probably get the

guiness record for stupidity.

from going vandalizing to taking drugs to going crazy over caracal to not giving a shit

about every single living thing on earth to almost killing myself this year.

the year's going pass so fast I can hardly grasp hold of the fact

that it's nearly ending and I'm about to leave the sheltering walls of PL.

Which of course , I'd dearly miss.

all the running away from teachers like some sort of fugitive to rebeling against them

with all of my friends from different levels and to having a beautifully built up

bad record in the school which I'm sort of proud of in a very twisted way

cause it goes to show how different I am from everyone else haha , in a twisted way.

I'm not a sheep.but then again it'll wreck my chances of getting into a good school

which I'm hoping for apparently.I think I'm too complex to handle

and I'm not saying that as a compliment.It get's kinda tiring

when almost everyone around you is/are going to give up on you.

and worse of all , you on yourself.ahhh well , what a year I've had indeed.

from hanging out with different people meeting new people like the balai people

to mark ambrose to nat to lots of other people but in the end , I can really say

the past is not to be regretted , the present has been unexpected and the future will get better

it always has , and I know It will.

be well , 2006 :)

People are so annoying. I think I might just end up like the guy from the Godfather who likes pigeons cause they don't talk well , he basically like anything that doesn't talk and right now , I feel exactly the same. I mean what's with the whole emo saga. I mean who cares if you're emo and emo means emotional and we're all so God-damned emotional anyway in our own secret fucking pathetic corner one way or another we all break down.let down our guard , lose the fucking war. Just because I act a certain way doesn't give me a fixed character. I think the society is just so fucking anal that I'd like to move to fucking mars away from the world only I'll die of loneliness and lack of oxygen.I've decided to go to all the 27 parks in singapore after my major exams haha ok so now's the time I'd ask , does any un-annoying inhuman person want to join me? ok , go sleep now marisse.

Just for dearest underwear freak :)

Name twenty people you can think of right now.

Don't read the question(s)

until you've named the 20 people.

At the end of this, choose five people to do this.

1.vicky

2. alicia

3. siewhwee

4. akira

5. lizzie

6. stacy

7. phoebe

8. holly

9. theresa

10.nigel

11. Alyssa

12. nick

13. mark

14. bong

15. zoe

16. bird

17. ann na

18. emo

19. dory

20. cheryl

How did you meet #14? at a caracal gig through alethea?

What would you do if you didn't meet #1? I don't want to know

What if #9 and #20 dated? haha , It might actually work out

Would #6 and #17? HAHA NO NO NO CANNOT

Describe #3 the most awesome sweet beautiful person I know

#8 attractive? of course , it's holly! haha

Describe #7 she's my bestfriend and she's perfect beyond description.

#12 family members?leah

What would you do if #18 confesses to you that he likes you?first of all your he's a she and I'd tell her that I love her :)

What language does #15 speak? Human

Who is #9 going out with? Me

how old is #16? 15

When is the last time you spoke to #13? last week?

Who is #2's favourite band/singer? She doesn't have a favourite she has a good taste in music! :)

Would you ever date #4? Probably , but he's with #3 and he's small. haha

Would you ever date #1 ? Definately :)

Is #19 single? Single but not available

What's #10's last name? Tan

Would you ever be in a relationship with #11? I most certainly would , she's amazing

School of #3? PL

Where does #6 live? Gardens

What's your fave thing about #5? She's funny , smart and an amazing friend shit that's more then 1 thing , how? haha

Have you seen #2 naked? almost la , always changing infront of me hahaha

Okay, here are five UNLUCKY people to do this survey,

1. Baby Biggay

2. Alyssa

3. Ah lian

4. Akira

5. Holly?

Haha ok , So I'm bored and narcissitic? So? Don't you find me entertaining? Peas are green and I ate cherries and grapes 15 minutes ago. I can't really tell the difference between them unless I look closely and this is not me being bimbotic.I've been studying since 4 through 5. I took a bath at 7 and I am going to ANTM later.I am going to paint during the one week break.ok , make love not war!

IDENTITY CRISIS.I've no life for a photo right now , it's days like these that I want to cry without a legitimate reason.I almost lost my phone and wallet again. Maybe it's the anger talking or maybe it's just my over worked body.Maybe it's the kind of music I listen to , Maybe it's the 2 days duration of my period or maybe it's the fever that's about to take over my body or maybe it's just me. Cause I'm too pissed off to ask anyone out anymore. I won't bother to keep in touch with anyone anymore.If our so called relationships meant something they'd bother to call cause right now , I give up , I surrender , white flag , Doy para arriba , whatever.I'm not going to try anymore , so goodbye to my social life.no more trying to date people out like liying or baby biggay anymore. I'll miss you guys nonetheless but el transformador says Doy para arriba. I feel desperate for something new to happen to me. I can't wait for the exams to come and go so I can perform the great escape , so far so far. I'm off t study!


I love Theresa Lee Misso , my girl (:

Is the pain enough to , choke?

Just got off the phone with this stranger who sounded psycho and cheena.he called asking for VP ( whoever! ) and I obviously answered with a " VP who? I think you've got the wrong number " and the next thing I knew he started malfunctioning and baffling stranger tribal languages threw the line like " VP?YEEPPEEE? PEEEPEE?VPP? " ( LOL! ) I struggled with my " sorry wrong number " standard line and couldn't help but choke on my giggles. Anyway , yesterday was pretty much a good day for me.I've finally gotten a new phone and television.I also got a few personal stuff too.Anas's birthday was quite a blast haha , though I sounded as drug addict as ever. Woke up today with 15 minutes to get dressed for church.And I know I could never skip the whole glam pack so I was late for cat class as usual. Headed down to kovan for lunch with the rich man's mistress and went straight to meet thirteen.had fun soaking up the sun and acting like fugitives from the woman at billy bombers! I'm beat so I r izz going to catch some shut eye.goodnight cruel world!! :)


ps. pictures are ready (:
-beacon , fangs & the morons

Well , we're all just angels with enemies.so what they don't teach you in art school is how you're going to hurt out there in the real world like you've never hurt before//Hung out with Only two today , again but not like I'm complaining. haha , we do the utmost stupid things together like paying 50 cents to sleep under the shade in the swimming complex whining about how we didn't get to run and loose weight at the stadium where after we headed down to another stadium and ran again and wasted our life an hour or two before that , I repeat , whining. Thank you Sheresa for your dedication haha , I love you babe. I've got tennis on my list of things I'm made to do today and it's at 9 but then again I'm not gonna complain cause I'm going to work out! Yayza! I need to get out and take more pictures of the world instead of myself.Cause I'm boosting my own ego every single minute with braintcia. haha , my eyes are currently itching like a bitch and I gave my other self the holy mofo a miss today.I need to start forcing myself to finish fight club.reminder:Theresa please get choke and I'll survivor ok? haha we'll trade! (: I think I've matured and become more apathetic haha ( sounds ironic ) with chuck's books. ok , must love tennis now.over and out!

MAI HUM MAI HUM MAI HUM HAHAHA thank God for Mr. Brown the podcast made my day , I mean I've nothing again lee sien loong but it's just all for fun anyway. Finally headed down for a workout session with Only two (: We ran 7 rounds round the track at the stadium. I feel quite accomplished today! hoo-rahh , whatever. Anyway , let's track back to yesterday which in I hung out with Theresa Misso dearest (: and so I told her I'd blog about her. yea I know , what a drag ahhahaahahha I don't usually do this but ..

HELLO SHERESA

It's been an awesome time hanging out with you for the past few weeks , you've been so much fun and I know you will be for the next century.Thanks for making me feel like I can let my guard down and be whoever I want to be hahaha yea horrible english but you get what I mean.You've filled the cracks in my broken heart with happiness cause I've been feeling a sense of loneliness lately and my mind's rather blank and I feel void , thanks babe , I love you! (:

fatherfucker

I love peaches.I've never used this term before but hey! what the hell , dear diary , I'm a retard.I've got a super shittening stomach ache and my eyes are so tired they feel like their gonna crack and flake like skin. I'm going to catch be with me now , blog later ! :)

honestly , do I really want to walk away?
is it that obvious to say..

hello discipline , where've you gone to? You've once again left me late for school as usual. I need to get out of my hair. I know I've said this over and over again from time and again but , I want to run away and start a new life.This one's too confusing I want to take the back seat in my social life. Sometimes I feel like I'm trying to hard like I'm not being myself but what is myself if I'm someone else and maybe the person I was was somebody else and so as a result , I'm still no one and an image of the invisible. But I don't want to walk away and leave the people I love behind because I know my emotions will repeat in another place cause feeling to scar deep. so it goes back with me being stuck in my stagnent water in other words , my life. I'm passing through the atmosphere like smoke but not light smoke but rather thick black smoke the kind you get from an explosion. Ahhh Marisse , dear diary dear diary. I need to spend a day alone soon. maybe to somewhere far away like to my destination beautiful ( ohh i love mae! aha ) ok , gotta run for a confession!

xoxo

cainemarissemarissecaine

To make hearts reluctant ,
had fun with hannah christine pichay on sunday it's been a long time since I've had someone trustworthy to talk to everyone's so hypocritical so am I , I know but I try.I just really can't control my piece of shit mouth sometimes.I need to pour out my unhappiness or I'll explode like popcorn in a small paperbag.seriously! Thanks hannah , for everything. For all these 13 years you're the best I've ever had. I love you and I know you definately love me too! heh : ) Anyway , I finally went waxing today with siewhwee and dearest mummy.I'm hair free except for there ( haha ) . ohhhh auuu naturalll


to super power sour shit boy :
on a much so called heavier fraction( haha , too much physics ) , I need to fucking lighten up.I'm so dissapointed with you , my friend(?).I mean I told you my inner most secrets well , almost all of them.Marisse , you've got to stop trusting so god damn easily you know you're just getting yourself a ticket to hell. when you said forever I said forever was bullshit so well , strike one. I gave you the benefit of the doubt by lending you something that wasn't mine.but you let me down so , strike two.Maybe I was search a burden as a friend or whatever. So I'm here to stop this subtle battle for infinity and beyond and say goodbye. I tried calling but it didn't work. so much for A plus for effort aye? I guess you can't actually really relate school to real life. I'm sorry if I've done you wrong. I guess , this is goodbye. oh my honest mistake




put my stuff a box and ship it off the alaska

The Transformer

Looking at blogs of my friends make me feel under exposed and as usual it's basically actually well , seriously true. I need to get out more but there's no one who'd take me out some where new I'm already getting so sick of arab street the thought of going there again makes me sick.I mean it's not repulsive or anything it's just well , becoming sort of mudane I suppose? damn , but nonetheless I'll probably still go there cause there's no other place different to go unlesss I'm counting on having lunch at a secluded area such as the matilda house at punggol which is really quite eerie. I'm so disgusted with myself cause my blog is filled with pictures, of myself.Newsflash , that's exactly the kind of thing I hate people posting so much about themselves it makes them well , egoistic but it doesn't matter cause well , that's the purpose of blogging right? To talk about your life in other words , yourself. haha Anyway , Mum came home to a crowd of about say 300 to 400 people in my car park cause of a neighbour who lives directly above me's death. how cool is that? I want my funeral to be like that except for that fact that I know no one will turn up for my wake cause I'm just sick plain old Marisse sitting infront the god damned monitor all day drowing herself in music and is currently listening to Mogwai.Gosh , I've so much potential if you know what I mean.And I'm not saying this as an ego-booster. ok , shut up Marisse , really!

Waxing got cancelled.
I've been spending the entire afternoon
infront of the monitor , yet again.
I think I'll go study in a few minutes.
at least my Saturday will be a fruitful one
Imagine waking up and cussing at nothing
and saying ' Why? Why did I wake up alive again!'
just for the record this is not me being emo/angsty
it's just me being comical as usual.
ok , so it's clearly impossible to wake up dead.
cause technically you've not even woken up
but hypothetically , you know what I mean.
you know you've got to get out of the house soon
when you feel like the whole world's stupid but yourself
like everyone's falling for the pattern
and you're trying to be non-conforming.
oh man marisse , stop living in denial
look who's the one in her repulsive did I mention pink pajamas.
talking and talking about herself.ok , time to get off that chair away from the monitor and out of the house.

It's official , I'm suffering from
pedophilia

gave tennis a skip yesterday due to a very sick mother

so headed down to beautiful bali lane with dearest gwen

had fun catching up with her finally , I feel so comfortable

around her till the point I don't care what I'm wearing

we realised that we've been friend for almost 8 years already

we met at 711 ( yea stupid ) and the rest is history haha.

will be heading down town for waxing with mum & only two later on

and after that bali lane , yet again. I just love chilling don't you?

I wanted to blog about something with substance.

oh well , I guess I just caught stupid.

see you folks :)

my love for you is unconditional babe (:



the coolest people I know! ( I love you HC-GF )



Where gwen and I ate today ( blue cafe ) awesome place!



Skylines



I'm praying for your safety baby! :D



boys will be boys



I love you!



I cannot live without you



Jiaxin's always been pretty

lost for words ,

for the sake of all the sad people , here's one for you (:

funeral for a friend('s grandfather)

the weather's pretty dry today.I swear the sun is beautiful but it's killing me.I hate coming home from school everyday feeling like I just ran a marathon.walking home passing the football court i could hear the extremely dry leaves on the ground rubbing on the concrete floor cause of the disgusting hot dry wind and the leaves were making a trinkling sound yea , that dry, that hot.It feels like a drought.Coming home from such a demoralising journey to find that your childhood friend's grandfather passed away last night from a stroke with his eye wide open and mouth hanging about 2 inches wide really aggravates everything and listen to her talk about how her ex-boyfriend who conincidentally broke up with her the night before as well and how he said she was the cause of his death really really " helps ". Poor girl , I never want to be in her position.I admit I'm quite the soundoholic , quietophobic( read lullaby).I swear chuck's books make me feel so ashamed of myself sometimes.but then again what I learn from it is a price worth paying for.Things are more complicated now.I'm not being emo by the way if that's what you think. I'm also a emoophobic now.surprise surprise.tomorrow's my last paper for my prelims so I'll be seeing how I fair next week oh the anticipation.note the sarcasm.I swear after my major exams a.k.a. the n levels which ends in october I'm going to lock myself up in my room and sleep all day away from the sun and people for a week.no , I'm not being emo.I'm being caveman.heard of that term? yea , thought so. I'll be being myself in my room which is a pig.I'll be hibernating for the summer( sun sun heat hot kill me!).I'm not making my sense. ok , bye bye

Stendhal syndrome or Stendhal's syndrome is a psychosomatic illness that causes rapid heartbeat, dizziness, confusion and even hallucinations when an individual is exposed to art, usually when the art is particularly 'beautiful' or a large amount of art is in a single place. The term can also be used to describe a similar reaction to a surfeit of choice in other circumstances.



Give me a bite out of that sandwich , now! (:

your secret's safe with me so , what about mine?

hello world , I think I'm having one of those heart attack dying to live episodes again. well , to begin I started my day being half an hour late for my prelim exams and today's paper that was first up was , math.yeap! Congradufuckinlations marisse , I know. Don't need remind me that I'm the epitimy of stupidity.You know what's the best part of being half an hour late? I finished my paper within 40 minutes which means I finished it before the time limit given and I was late.Damn , I'm so going to flunk the paper cause I found it easy.It did make sense didn't it? In a very screwy twisted way.Anyway , my advice on a extremely screwy day like today is watch hope is emo on youtube. hope , you make me cum ( not ) haha but she really is funny. Had fun with Sheresa today (: and of course colouring Kim's hand with nigel with I roys' name topped that( private joke) Anyway ! Gotta Run( to my room and study unending amounts of math equations and chinese words.Help! I'm drowning in a pool of knowledge already.Screw you MOE :/ ) G'night world!

red balloon , you're the goon

Standard lines ( no not DC)

I've finished diary by chuck palahniuk ( hooray!) and I'm on to another of his books it's called lullaby.I want to marry chuck palahniuk even if he's old and wrinkled.Standard lines , Standard lines. Stuff that we say for the sake of saying or predictable stuff we say like we're speaking of lines in our memory we've gotten from this script that we've read since the day we were born.hmm , did that make sense?Ok let me be a typical girl and say , I need to diet no more eating for a little while because it's exam week no time for being a gym freak.ok , rant another time pisser mum on the loose! :/

I know who you are but who am I?

you'd be non-conforming too if you look just like me // Hello all Marisse is going to clean her room and spend her post national day with her new girlfriend a.k.a her math book ,see you folks.the moon's been lovely can't wait for tonight (:

I , I , I , I like you.

meet me in the middle , it's 3 am and my mind's talking again

If death were to be transitory , wouldn't it be real tiring?

bleeding knuckle and broken trust,

sins will happen if you'd just let me know

somethings just never change

I'll be back at the confession after tonight

dear Lord , g'bye & g'night

hungry for a holiday.

I confess , I was extremely bored and well , just for my dearest sheresa ^^

click on it to get a better view of my stupidity.

just so you know , it's easier said than done

you're prone to sarcasm but nonetheless , you crumble

we don't crash and we'd probably never

but feelings nonetheless

consider this.

and just for the record , I'm expecting the best of you

which would be undeniably , amazing

thank you lynn , cher , shanny , sheresa , joyce and dale for today I had an awesome time.

it's days like these that's got me feeling life's worth living :)

take a little more of me today

Lost in pictures

Emo's my middle name(not).This is an old picture of me haha , so now I'm ugly.I miss my bangs badly.I've come to realise that I'm actually really quite the boring person.Yeap , I'm that slow.Tomorrow's Thirteen's birthday and I'm so fucking busy tomorrow it's crazy!School ends at 11 tomorrow and after which I'm off to the gym where after I'll be having tuition then I'm taking photo's for my mum's shit at the australian international school and I'm either meeting thirteen or uhleesha or the rest.Oh boy.I need to chain myself from the computer , brainticia and food for the next couple of weeks!I'm schedule's so hectic cause of all the unimportant stuff! Someone kill me! I've got to get my priorities right! Ughh , I need to study!!! Damn right.I need to stay out of trouble and I'm not getting my testimonial from the school not like I was expecting to get it either but still it's frustrating really.Oh well , I'm off to bed now with my boring self and my boring life and my boring brains.boring boring boring absofuckinglutely boring , Amen :)

he asked her the name him a colour then describe it with 3 adjectives
she said "Gold,Rich.Shiny.Soft." and that is of how she feels about herself
then he said that she named him and animal and throw in another 3 adjectives
she said "Pigeon, Dirty.Stupid.Ugly." her perspective of people.
That previous life , in art school , He then asked her to name a body of water
Walking next to him she said, " The St. Lawrence Seaway."and then describing it with, Busy.Fast.Crowded. and that was how her sex lifewas suppose to be.
His Levator labii superioris muscle pulled his top lip into a sneer
and then he said to imagine herself in a room and all the walls are white there are no
windows or doors and in three words, to tell him how she feels about the room.
she said , " temporary.transitory.confusing " and that was to be her death.
ahh the beautiful mind of palahniuk.seriously, check him out
so it's 2.30 in the afternoon on a saturday and once again , I'm in front of the monitor , blogging.
My prelims are next friday and I've got a job at the australian
international school this tuesday.I'm taking photos for my mum at her student's recitals.
nothing big but I'm sure there'll be alot of good lookers.Life will be easier
next week cause my mum's getting her paycheck soon.yayza for me? so tell me , how did I fall for negativity again?pffftt gotta run ! =/

Cause I'm caught in suspension. ( but I beg for nothing more)//picking up speed I can barely breathe.The past week/year's has gone pass so fast I wanna blast in the past and repeat every move I made.Every mistake and every decision made with a perfect answer.I miss 2005 and I know I'll definately miss 2006.But I can't wait for 2007.I'm studying so much it's overwhelming and I can't believe I'm saying what everyone else saying but , I think I've not studied enough and I'll flunk my whole exam.Oh Christ , Help me!There's the caracal gig tomorrow and though I'll just be another person in the crowd listening to their awesome music and almost invisible( yes , I sound like a loser! But , I don't mean it in that way) I'm sure I'll get over the whole crazy over caracal phase.It's just gonna be a phase.Like how I was ah lian before well , not ah lian more of cheena then to a bitch and now , plain marisse.Now , all I wanna do is give my soul to the world and rain my goodness(barely exsist in me but heck that fact anyway) on everyone else.That's what alyssa said the other time.Just following through.The weather's been a killer don't you think?When's it ever gonna rain( like monsoon rain heavy rain rain) I want to eat ice cream and play in the playground in the rain again!Who's up for it with me!?God , are you sure I'm 16? :/ Alrighty , Gotta Run ( literally) Catcha!

Days like these

IknowyouwillbethebestIwouldprobablyeverhavesoithasbeenkillingmetotellyouthat

I adore you , really.