We're all just looking for an exit , I think I've found mine.

photographer : Tim Halberg

Alot of things happened and I haven't really had the time
to sit infront of the computer to blog and even If I did
I didn't have the flow to for example now , I don't
But I think I should.Anyway , I have about a thousand things
running through my mine and the train just won't stop.
It keeps going without stopping for its destination
and I'm not really complaining cause I've come to realise
no one actually does want to hear you complain about how
fucked your life is right now and even if they do
the only response you get is ' are you okay? ' or
' I think you need help '.I'm sorry to say this but
WE'RE OBVIOUSLY NOT OK.BUT! BUT BUT BUT , I too am guilty
of asking the question I guess it's cause we're left simply
speechless that's why and there ain't a better phrase then
' are you okay? ' and please don't tell us we need help
cause , we want to feel like we have a friend to talk to
not as if we were some kind of and outcast that needs fucking
help.I mean hello? It's not as if we've got some stupid disorder
in the brain or something ok , maybe I do. HAHA , oh wells.
today , I went for some indian festival to witness one of my most
close friends I can almost say Best friend , akira maria , pierce
himself with 81 hooks with huge ass limes hanging from them on his
back and have this rod with a diameter of about 1 cm or so pierced
through his cheeks and some poster also pierced into his body.
It was awesome I mean being there I feel like I got sucked into a
whole different world.It felt so , I don't even know what's the word
to describe it cause , I've never felt that way before that I had to
ask him if it was painful. I mean he only had about 81 hooks on his
back and a freaking rod in his mouth nahh it ain't painful
( please note the sarcasm) What the fuck is wrong with me sometimes.
Sometimes , akira scares me with the stuff he does to himself
but I am happy and really proud to have him in my life
cause even if we don't last as friends I can say proudly
that he was part of my past , he truly is special.
Just like V and alot of other people in my life.
Sometimes I feel like I'm such a bad person
but I have friends that make me feel as though there's a reason
to carry on living and of course , there IS the religon issue.
That's why I would never go with the ' love is suicide ' motto
or write a suicide note and continue with my ' kurt cobain syndrome'
I think If Akira were to kill himself , I would never be able to live
with myself knowing that I SHOULDN'T HAVE LENT HIM HEAVIER THAN HEAVEN
LOL anyway , My future seems brighter now somehow my self abuse phase
is wearing me out and I've going to my ' be sober and different ' stage.
I had alot of fun with girls today and of course , akira .G'night folks :)




photographer : Tim Halberg


HAPPY BIRTHDAY TANNY WONG SHI WEN BLONDIE! =D
THANK YOU FOR BEING SO SPASTIC ALL THE TIME!
thank you ah lian ,thirteen , biggay and karys for today
btw world , MUM CAL AND DAD ANNNA HAVE AIDS BEWARE!
A , NO SWEET SUICIDE PLAN PLEASE
(If you even read this hahahahaha )