well , Sweet Jesus , you win. As always.


Ok , maybe I'm losing my mind.
but sometimes I realise that really ,EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON
and I'm not trying to be corny here
seriously,ok maybe I'm being impotent and grouchy but really,
you know how sometimes ,some things really don't matter to you?
but you suddenly decide to pay attention to it?
like for example , you always see this man under your block
but you pay no mind to him at all most of the time and suddenly
one day , some thing in you makes you decide to ask him
if he's okay and he gives you a smile
and a few days later he tells you
that you saved him from committing suicide
cause he wanted somebody to notice him and you did.
ok ,what a morbid example haha.
anyway , so that got me thinking of things like
whether I've affected someone's life cause of something I said.
Good or bad , both ways.
I mean what If something happens to someone I said something mean to?
and I won't even know that it happened cause
what if it happens in the future?
I won't even be able to feel sorry for what happened and be sorry!
I mean hello? I don't want to make anybody feel bad about themselves.
I can go on and say hey! what does my opinion matter anyway?
But no ,no matter who you are , what kind of a person you are ,
your opinion will always affect someone's decision on somthing.
like for example , my friend J calling me fat.
I mean I know I'm fat and he's fat
but him calling me fat made me feel worse.
ok that was another awful depressing example
well how does 'music makes you lose control' sound?haha
you know the whole mind boggling shit hahaha.
oh well , I've finally blogged something that made sense
don't you find? and that's enough of sometimes , what ifs
and whatever goes for me for a day :)