well , Sweet Jesus , you win. As always.


Ok , maybe I'm losing my mind.
but sometimes I realise that really ,EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON
and I'm not trying to be corny here
seriously,ok maybe I'm being impotent and grouchy but really,
you know how sometimes ,some things really don't matter to you?
but you suddenly decide to pay attention to it?
like for example , you always see this man under your block
but you pay no mind to him at all most of the time and suddenly
one day , some thing in you makes you decide to ask him
if he's okay and he gives you a smile
and a few days later he tells you
that you saved him from committing suicide
cause he wanted somebody to notice him and you did.
ok ,what a morbid example haha.
anyway , so that got me thinking of things like
whether I've affected someone's life cause of something I said.
Good or bad , both ways.
I mean what If something happens to someone I said something mean to?
and I won't even know that it happened cause
what if it happens in the future?
I won't even be able to feel sorry for what happened and be sorry!
I mean hello? I don't want to make anybody feel bad about themselves.
I can go on and say hey! what does my opinion matter anyway?
But no ,no matter who you are , what kind of a person you are ,
your opinion will always affect someone's decision on somthing.
like for example , my friend J calling me fat.
I mean I know I'm fat and he's fat
but him calling me fat made me feel worse.
ok that was another awful depressing example
well how does 'music makes you lose control' sound?haha
you know the whole mind boggling shit hahaha.
oh well , I've finally blogged something that made sense
don't you find? and that's enough of sometimes , what ifs
and whatever goes for me for a day :)

I love baby biggay :)

well , here I am to contradict myself.
My day went pretty well I guess
I made two new friends/acquaintances
School started pretty fucked up
and ended pretty well
I love 136 rides with theresa misso souppp!
My tummy always ends up in a knot
I headed down to my granny's place right after school
got drenched in the rain but I loved it
I love the soggy socks and shoes the feel of the rain
on my skin my hair all wet and the cold , perfect.
I'm such a weirdo sometimes.
anyhows , I rushed all over the place to get alicia
her surprises , I love seeing her happy
happy birthday sweets! thanks for being there :)
believe me when I say that you're beautiful in my eyes
as always , YOU NEVER KNOW =D hahahaha
I met stacy and company later on.
lost my mojo once again.




and they'll never know how I felt that night.

nope guys , I'm not depressed anymore.


I think blogging about my day would be a really lame thing to do
cause I mean nobody really wants to know what you did for the day
am I right? well , that's just my opinion.

baby doll , doll faced.


picture perfect , I smirk and ruin it
stains on my shoes from the days of wrath
back from california and starting a new
closely nearing the darkest path
I close my eyes and Imagine the dew
the dew of the morning from sweet september
lying in my bed of black balloons
floating alway like sunday's moon
sins and tragedies happen like
the making of spoons
too soon , too soon
wanting to be able to say that was then
having the time of my life
feeling the rain on my skin reminds me of
my youth , she says lost in confusion
negative creep , negative creep
I'm so sick of being the negative creep
this is your life , it's time for me to
well , decide :)

CHANGE;

leaning on the bed side and sobbing
I wish there was so much more about me and you
but it ended with me not with you
you talk to her and it burns me like the sun
I talk to me but you can't hear the pain I feel.
But it's okay , I will still follow you into the dark.
cause , maybe I loved you more than I even knew.
Its time to get out of the dessert and into the sun
even if it's lonely , I'll be there for you.
You gave me your hand and I took it
the smoke from your body sank into my skin
slowly I wither like the rose you gave me last christmas
you don't know me and you don't even care
I'd sit on your porch and talk to you
in the darkest of the night
and we'd both know that it's going to be dawn
You tell me that she loves you and you love her too
It breaks my heart to see you sad
so take my car crashable heart and sing me a song lovely.
so here's my story of the year.
You say hello, inside I'm screaming I love you
You say goodnight, in my mind
I'm sleeping next to you
You drive away from my car crash of a heart
And I don't know
Oh, don't turn around and say bye again
Yeah it crushes my head when you call me
Your friend and I'm not the same person
From back in the day in the back of the class
that you thought was gay
No I can't find the words cause I lost them
The minute they fell out of my mouth
And it's love and I'm in it, so give me your lips
And just let me kiss 'em
and let's get messed up and listen to probably
I just wish there was so much more than that
About me and you
But there isn't and there never was.



OK ENOUGH EMO FOR ONE YEAR!

I want this baby :)


One more time , Happy birthday Birdeh :D
I had loads of fun at bird's place
So I guess my saturday wasn't that bad after all
I had alot of fun with alicia and julia too
and of course everyone else at bird's house
like emeline vick son mother nana and yada yada
I've got about 3 of Alicia's song stuck in my mind.
A bad stomach ache and I feel like farting( LOL -.-)
I've lost my mojo , g'night folks :)

drowninggggggggg , drowning


Happy birthday Chirp Tan Forest!
It's been great having you as a friend
for about a year now? Yeap time really flies
when you're having fun.
I predict my saturday and Sunday will be shitty
And something bad will happen at chirp's party
even though yes , I really love birddddeehhhhh :)
If anything bad happens , It's my fault I'm sorry
Yesterday , good friday , started out awkard and foul but I realise
how lame I was feeling and realised that only I
have the power to make myself feel better
So I apologised to V and I guess everything's fine now
Anyway , I had loads of fun and I'm happy I got out of
the house.I spent the day with V and the rest
we went for jen pok's church thing then we headed
down to town for lunch and fun. We spent a whole freaking
hour at Zara and met alicia :) and I spent the whole of yesterday
with her and guess what , I'm at her place now hahaha
I love alicia , really she's the greatest :)
So much for the surprise visit we were suppose to give someone.
I was really looking foward to it but you know , whatever
I can predict would be rather gloomy
I'm so sick of being sad and lame
I wanna be my old self again you know , trigger happy?
being able to laugh or smile at everything without having
to think something morbid about the situation even when I'm
having a whole lot of fun , oh well , saturday here I come :/


IGALLOP HAHA , Thank for yesterday , I love you guys :
V , Chunky , Male donkey , Leezoo , Uhleesha , Emo , Gf , Charlene :)
and everybody I saw at church :)

I'm filled with wrath , alot of wrath
I'm so fucking angry that I can say very hurtful things
right now , I should block myself from the world
I don't even have music to calm me down
cause my fucking speakers are fucking up.
I know it's my fault , it's my fault
yes it's my fault. I'm sorry I'm a bad person
I'M A BAD PERSON. don't talk to me.
don't trust me I'm nobody's friend
you should all just ignore me.





treesharininipopo , it was fun seeing you :)
( if you see this)

We're all just looking for an exit , I think I've found mine.

photographer : Tim Halberg

Alot of things happened and I haven't really had the time
to sit infront of the computer to blog and even If I did
I didn't have the flow to for example now , I don't
But I think I should.Anyway , I have about a thousand things
running through my mine and the train just won't stop.
It keeps going without stopping for its destination
and I'm not really complaining cause I've come to realise
no one actually does want to hear you complain about how
fucked your life is right now and even if they do
the only response you get is ' are you okay? ' or
' I think you need help '.I'm sorry to say this but
WE'RE OBVIOUSLY NOT OK.BUT! BUT BUT BUT , I too am guilty
of asking the question I guess it's cause we're left simply
speechless that's why and there ain't a better phrase then
' are you okay? ' and please don't tell us we need help
cause , we want to feel like we have a friend to talk to
not as if we were some kind of and outcast that needs fucking
help.I mean hello? It's not as if we've got some stupid disorder
in the brain or something ok , maybe I do. HAHA , oh wells.
today , I went for some indian festival to witness one of my most
close friends I can almost say Best friend , akira maria , pierce
himself with 81 hooks with huge ass limes hanging from them on his
back and have this rod with a diameter of about 1 cm or so pierced
through his cheeks and some poster also pierced into his body.
It was awesome I mean being there I feel like I got sucked into a
whole different world.It felt so , I don't even know what's the word
to describe it cause , I've never felt that way before that I had to
ask him if it was painful. I mean he only had about 81 hooks on his
back and a freaking rod in his mouth nahh it ain't painful
( please note the sarcasm) What the fuck is wrong with me sometimes.
Sometimes , akira scares me with the stuff he does to himself
but I am happy and really proud to have him in my life
cause even if we don't last as friends I can say proudly
that he was part of my past , he truly is special.
Just like V and alot of other people in my life.
Sometimes I feel like I'm such a bad person
but I have friends that make me feel as though there's a reason
to carry on living and of course , there IS the religon issue.
That's why I would never go with the ' love is suicide ' motto
or write a suicide note and continue with my ' kurt cobain syndrome'
I think If Akira were to kill himself , I would never be able to live
with myself knowing that I SHOULDN'T HAVE LENT HIM HEAVIER THAN HEAVEN
LOL anyway , My future seems brighter now somehow my self abuse phase
is wearing me out and I've going to my ' be sober and different ' stage.
I had alot of fun with girls today and of course , akira .G'night folks :)




photographer : Tim Halberg


HAPPY BIRTHDAY TANNY WONG SHI WEN BLONDIE! =D
THANK YOU FOR BEING SO SPASTIC ALL THE TIME!
thank you ah lian ,thirteen , biggay and karys for today
btw world , MUM CAL AND DAD ANNNA HAVE AIDS BEWARE!
A , NO SWEET SUICIDE PLAN PLEASE
(If you even read this hahahahaha )

Stop stepping all over her.

I FOUND THIS EMAIL VERY NICE

By Bishop T. D. Jakes

There are people who can walk away from you.

And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk.
I don't want you to try to talk another person into
staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left.

The Bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest that they were not for
us. For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.

Let them go.


And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over. And you've got to know when people's part in your story is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.

You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye. It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He'll give it to me.
And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it. Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains .....

LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth.....

LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you ........

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents ...

LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude.......

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......

LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in Him......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken
relationship.......

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help themselves......

LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed ......

LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so
used to handling yourself and God is saying "take your hands off of it," then you need to......

LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things.
GOD is doing a new thing for you!!!



LET IT GO!!!



Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then ...

LET IT GO!!!

"The Battle is the Lord's!"

During the next 60 seconds, Stop whatever you are doing, and take this opportunity.
(Literally it is only ONE minute!)

All you have to do is the following:

You simply say "The Lords Prayer" for the person that sent you this message:

The Lord's Prayer

Our Father, who are in Heaven,
Hallowed be Thy Name, Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will be done, on Earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day, our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.

For Thine is the Kingdom, and the Power,
and the Glory, forever.

Amen.

Next, send this message to everyone you know. In a while, more people will have prayed for you and you would have obtained a lot of people praying for others!

Next, stop and think and appreciate God's power in your life, for doing what you know is pleasing to Him.

If you are not ashamed to do this,
follow the instructions!

Jesus said, If you are ashamed of me,

I will be ashamed of you before My Father"


If you love God and you are not ashamed of all the great things that He has done for you, send this to everyone you know, and the person that
sent it to you!

God loves you and watches over you everyday.

AND SO THIS IS HOW THE WHOLE CONVERSATION WENT


FART FACE says:
do you like your brains?

so write the letters in teary ink says:
do you HAVE BRAINS?

so write the letters in teary ink says:
Yes i do.

FART FACE says:
HAHA YES I DO

FART FACE says:
my brains are cool

FART FACE says:
i bought them from bugis street for two dollars

so write the letters in teary ink says:
WHOA

so write the letters in teary ink says:
I got mine for freee

FART FACE says:
haha

FART FACE says:
HURHHHH

FART FACE says:
REALLY AH

FART FACE says:
NOT FAIR LEH

FART FACE says:
AHAH

so write the letters in teary ink says:
It was given to me by some amazing woman, My mother

FART FACE says:
my mother kept mine in the bank )=

FART FACE says:
ahahah

so write the letters in teary ink says:
And its a fairly good brain too

so write the letters in teary ink says:
hahaha, I have a spare in the bank

so write the letters in teary ink says:
You want it?

FART FACE says:
WAH SO COOL AH

FART FACE says:
OK LA

FART FACE says:
MY BRAINS ARE WEARING OUT

FART FACE says:
MUST BE SOME LOUSY BRAND

FART FACE says:
must be made in china or smth

so write the letters in teary ink says:
NO!

so write the letters in teary ink says:
its on of the most expensive kind

so write the letters in teary ink says:
OF course the one im using now

so write the letters in teary ink says:
is better la

so write the letters in teary ink says:
But that one is not bad

so write the letters in teary ink says:
its the BRAINY brand

so write the letters in teary ink says:
Heard of it?

so write the letters in teary ink says:
its one of the bst

FART FACE says:
MY FRIEND , SHE GOT HER BRAINS FROM BRAINCI

FART FACE says:
AND BRAINEL

FART FACE says:
BRAIDA

FART FACE says:
HAHA YES I HEARD OF IT

FART FACE says:
I HEARD ITS VERY EXPENSIVE

FART FACE says:
AHHHAHA

so write the letters in teary ink says:
YES IT IS

so write the letters in teary ink says:
AND SINCE YOU ARE MY BELOVED

so write the letters in teary ink says:
I WILL GIVE IT TO YOU FOR FREE!

FART FACE says:
HAHAHA

FART FACE says:
YAY!

FART FACE says:
I LOVE YOu!

FART FACE says:
HAHAHAH

FART FACE says:
AHHA

so write the letters in teary ink says:
SEE

so write the letters in teary ink says:
HAHAHA

so write the letters in teary ink says:
My mum is gonna get me another spare anws

so write the letters in teary ink says:
HAHA

FART FACE says:
HAHA

so write the letters in teary ink says:
its from brainS

FART FACE says:
FROM WHERE???

FART FACE says:
BRAINEL?

so write the letters in teary ink says:
Which means BRAINSMART

so write the letters in teary ink says:
HAHAH

FART FACE says:
HAHAHAHAHAHA

FART FACE says:
LOL

FART FACE says:
OMG

so write the letters in teary ink says:
Its a new product

FART FACE says:
SO COOL!

so write the letters in teary ink says:
It just came out a few weeks ago

so write the letters in teary ink says:
its rather expensive

so write the letters in teary ink says:
1 cm 10 dollars

so write the letters in teary ink says:
EXPENSIVE HUUH!

FART FACE says:
hahahahahaha

FART FACE says:
YA ! SO EXPENSIVE MAN

FART FACE says:
I ENVYY YOU MANNNNNNN

FART FACE says:
AAHHAAHAH

so write the letters in teary ink says:
The one i have now is wearing out with Chemical eqns

so write the letters in teary ink says:
Maths sums

so write the letters in teary ink says:
and crazy things

FART FACE says:
hahahah

FART FACE says:
MINE IS WEARING OUT FROM SICK THOUGHTS

FART FACE says:
AHAHAHAHAH

so write the letters in teary ink says:
HAHAHA

so write the letters in teary ink says:
EROTIC

so write the letters in teary ink says:
oh well

so write the letters in teary ink says:
There's this high class brain kind

so write the letters in teary ink says:
Thats like

so write the letters in teary ink says:
1mm is like 10 dollars

so write the letters in teary ink says:
WHOA

so write the letters in teary ink says:
that one's WHOA

so write the letters in teary ink says:
I will top the fucking class!Q

FART FACE says:
HAHA

FART FACE says:
YES I BET YOU WILL

FART FACE says:
WITH BRAINS LIKE THAT

FART FACE says:
AHHAHAHA

so write the letters in teary ink says:
The sch

so write the letters in teary ink says:
BUT SADLY

so write the letters in teary ink says:
I cant afford it

so write the letters in teary ink says:
And i dont want ti

so write the letters in teary ink says:
So smart for what

so write the letters in teary ink says:
Pple will rob me at night

so write the letters in teary ink says:
Cut my brains out


yeap , we're talking about brains here.


[so write the letters in teary ink]- D
[FART FACE] - Me

ohhhhh dory hahahaha

not lesbians , just bestfriends.


today is palm sunday for many catholics
I figured that every sunday most catholic
teens reserve it for God
we try not to sin on sundays
sunday sunday , we wait till monday
we practice self-control
it's pretty f-ed up but you know
well , at least we try :)
you know , I have this friend who said something
very f-ed up the other day.
HE said that
the best part of relationships is the courting part
and then after that , it stinks.
now , I know why I sort of despise to male species
sometimes. HAHA. oh well , what do you think?

one of the things I look foward to every sunday , post secret =)

well , it got me thinking