blood shot eyes , blood shot hearts

I'm going to kill myself slowly
I don't know why but I just feel like doing it
I'm sensible enough to know what I'm doing
is clearly immature.where's my fuck care attitude?
I feel like I'm here in this world to be used.
Now , that's a line you here almost everyday.
I feel so so so used.I tried you know.
I tried to make things up with ten folds.
And It killed me to be aware that you could find takers
other than me and better than me.
you had to remind me everyday what an asshole you truly are.
I do not understand what I saw in you.
I need to walk away and let go.
I've blocked my feelings completely and what did I get?
I've become a boring blob of fats
and What fate did I get on fuckentine's day.
I had to get hit by my mother and now , I have blood shot eyes.
I just wished I could curl up and die.
this sounds so I not stupid too the movie but ,
nothing I do seems to be up to standard for anybody.
not good enough , never good enough.
two pharses that constantly appear in my mind.
this isn't how it's suppose to be
life's suppose to be really nice.
I feel like shit now I'm going to block it out
after this , goodbye my I die.

once again , I'm running away