You've got the Blues.


My years in PL have been rather queer.I've gone from that really really queer netballer to totally psychotic sec 2 retard to a rebel and to whatever you can think of.I use to be so emotional and now , I'm almost emotionless.I've gone from becoming the girl who cried herself to sleep to the girl who made people cry to sleep.well , ok not to sleep but you get what I mean.And now , I've become quite the holy mofo.I tore my heart open just to feel.And now that I've felt it , I kinda wished I hadn't then I wouldn't have gotten so hurt.As much as I want to close my eyes and with a blink of an eye forget ev'rything that happened.But I can't.Cause no matter what , the past will always be real.It's so hard sometimes.Somedays I go to sleep thinking to myself.Dang.That really happened to me.He did that to me.He let me feel the hurt that , sometimes enjoy not cause I'm a sick pervert.It's cause I can write songs when I get the 'feelin'.It makes you feel like you've got difficulty breathin and you feel like screamin.FFFFFFUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKKKK.but you just can't then when you cry, you can't stop crying.The world feels so fake sometimes.I remember when I was sec 2 I use to really afraid of yes , leezord and all.but really , they couldn't give two fucks about me.They're so narcissitic anyway.no offence.BUT they're really nice anyway.My birthday is nine days away.I don't really feel the excitment though cause I've nothing much to look foward to.Cause life for me use to when ev'ryone's celebrating with their families , my mum's giggin and the man , as usual , is MIA.but it's alright cause I'm sort of gettin use to it.When I was young I use to psycho myself into thinkin maybe she'll come home and surprise me but , I was always wrong.