saf has a twin.

pseudoanonymous

when you're running out of will power to say that you're okay
and when pretending like everything's okay is not enough.
when you every second feels like a year.
when every thing you hear gets amplified ten times louder.
you know , you lack sleep. haha! gotcha there! thought i was being emo again aye?



haha , maybe.

after much procastination.
okay cheryl , lynn , gwen , vicky , whoever else. I'm giving you the privillage to bug me for the photos. haha , i'll try not to procastinate again.
my sending of notebook to nat is still on the procastination list.
marisse , wtf?

ok ok ok , i've been procastinating like crazy.
but i've finally decided to update because i've to wait for the fucking photos to upload.
damn it , i hate it when i procastinate cause i end up with alot of shit in my hands
kinda like when you really wanna go to the toilet and you can't find out or have something else to do and fight against the calls of nature and end up shitting in your pants like boys ( well namely joey leslie and bryan. probably bong too cause he's extremely spastic till the point that even extremely spastic is an understatement)

so anyway , point is. I procastinate. too much too often well , you get the point.
so tomorrow morning the first thing i'm going to do is send nat the notebook.
like first thing i'm going to do before i wear a bra brush my teeth comb my hair and put on some decent clothes before i brave this cruel world kinda first thing in the morning. haha ohh the things i do for love. noble noble me. i know i know , i too think i deserve an award for the most loving person in the world. haha , oh who am i kidding! both my hamsters whom i loved so dearly are dead.

so tomorrow I'm going to become a vegan for as long as I can and not communicate verbally for well , as long as I can too. haha , I don't think I'll last an hour. But well , you never know! haha , the next thing I'm going to do after this crazy antic is too change my name everyday and wear a nametag. does anyone want to join me? any takers? come on , you know you want to! haha I mean bong's already harry leslie's tom and bryan's DICK. haha , gwen's mary and I'm jane now. I mean it's a whole lot of fun.

oh yeah! did I mention I spilt milk on the first day of work and didn't cry?! ( get it? i didn't cry over spilt milk?) haha , okay at this point cheryl lynn & zac will look at me and ask me to shut up and not be lame. but come on! seriously , cheryl lynn & zac are lamer! I mean zac?! there should be a documentry made about his life. he can make sense of something out of nothing ( quotes leslia). haha , he's the biggest cock talker ever.

ok i want to shut up now.

bye

we're just kids looking for a good time , so sing me some chinese techno

perhaps inspiration comes from tragedies , if tragedy hadn't step foot in my heart.

i'd be always feel like a passageway waiting to happen , at least i felt more worth it.

and at least now i know what i'm capable of.

Happy Valentine's day

so I spent my first hour of v-day wishing irwin happy birthday & calling other people whom are my 'girlfriends&boyfriends' haha , you know secondary school well , more of girl schools. we have girlfriends , scandals , boyfriends , mothers , daughters , sons & good lord , husbands already! haha. Anyhooos , I also spent my first hour watching clouds making shapes with them , talking about pokemon & such and playing blind mice with the boys , again. Bryan's a sucker at oh ya pe ya sum hahaha! Man, we have no life! haha , but well at least I did have fun. Look on the brightside! At least I was out during the first hour whereas you losers had to stay in bed at home hoping someone would call you or something. haha , kidding. take a chill pill.

Alrighty I've got piano in 25 minutes got to go take a bath , till then!

happy v-day whoever's reading this , you probably mean alot to me cause you're reading this cause you care , right? haha , who am I kidding! <3!

My weekend.

all these feelings I shouldn't have
all these feelings I thought I'd never have

so this is what it's like to feel ,
wrong page sir , wrong page.

I'll lie through my teeth
I'll fake going to sleep

I don't want to wake up to another thought of you.
it's too hard , much too hard.

having to worry , having to erase.
it's just much too impossible to erase.

if you're listening , tell me.

I am having lessons now & I am extremely bored. will delete this later. haha

Name twenty people you can think of right now.
Don't read the question(s)
until you've named the 20 people.
At the end of this, choose five people to do this.
1.theresa
2. bryan
3.leslie
4. bong
5. cheryl ann
6. lynn
7. joey
8. zac
9. akira
10.phoebe
11. vicky
12. stacy
13. gwen
14.siewhwee
15. alicia
16. rese
17. martin
18. brendan
19.nat
20. saf
How did you meet #14? netball haha in school
What would you do if you didn't meet #1? I don't want to know
What if #9 and #20 dated? HAHAHAHA AKIRA & SAF?! AHHAHAAH
Would #6 and #17 date? HAHA it might work out haha, sorry guys i only speak the truth
Describe #3 haha , leslie? LOL he looks like a girl acts like a girl loves picking a fight with me but is an awesome friend? haha
#8 attractive? of course , handsome sia zac! haha
Describe #7 hahaha joey aaahahahaha loves jojo he's retarded and should get a life and should stop stilling my lines. haahah ummm he's awesomee? haha
#12 family members?ljerry stacy's mum stacy's dad haha
What would you do if #18 confesses to you that he likes you? HAHAHA , I LOVE YOU TOO? HAHAHAHAHAHA i wouldn't know hahahah
What language does #15 speak? Human
Who is #9 going out with? HAHA , SCANDAL THERE. you'd never really know.
how old is #16? 18 on the 21st!
When is the last time you spoke to #13? this morning
Who is #2's favourite band/singer? Hahahaha err i really have no idea , caracal? hahaha
Would you ever date #4? why not!? hahaha i mean besides the fact i'll probably squise him and annoy him to death and he'll probably die of me on the first date and have unending amount of problems , why not? haahahahahahahahahaha
Would you ever date #1 ? Definately..not! we're already married! ahahah
Is #19 single? Single hahaha
What's #10's last name? Lauw
Would you ever be in a relationship with #11? I most certainly would , she's amazing
School of #3? St Gabs? Privates? getting results tmr? haha
Where does #6 live? Hougang
What's your fave thing about #5? She's funny and an amazing friend shit that's more then 1 thing , how? haha
Have you seen #2 naked?OMG NO THANK NO OMG HAHA YUCK HAHAHAHAHAH
Okay, here are five UNLUCKY people to do this survey,
1. NOBODY
2. WOULD
3. DO
4. THE
5. FUCKING QUIZ


Rules of the game:
1) Post 5 weird or random facts about yourself.
2) At the end, write the names of 5 people whom you want to do this quiz, then tag in their blog to leave them a note to tell them to see your blog.

5 random facts about myself:
1. according to my friends i speak/look like I'm high
2. I talk really loudly and I really can't help it
3. I love the feeling of laughing so hard till i get out of breath
4. I love indie
5. I love chuck palahniuk's diary & think it should be made into movie

5 PEOPLE I WANT
1. I
2. really
3. can't
4. decide
5.damn choices , how about the world?

Some other thing :

1.theresa
2. bryan
3.leslie
4. bong
5. cheryl ann
6. lynn
7. joey
8. zac
9. akira
10.phoebe
11. vicky
12. stacy
13. gwen
14.siewhwee
15. alicia
16. rese
17. martin
18. brendan
19.nat
20. saf

How did you meet 13?:
I met her at stair case trying to save her from being friends from this neighbourhood bully hah ohhh noble me.

What would you do if you never met 5?
I would die of boredom


What do you honestly think of 10?: She's AWESOME! She's my bestfriend hahaahah

Have you ever liked 3?:hahaha leslie? hahahahahahaha like as in like-like?

If 1 died tomorrow, what is one thing that you would like to do?: OH MY GOSH , ARE YOU KIDDIN , I'D PROBABLY CRY MYSELF TO DEATH , THERESA EH!

Would 2 and 11 make a good couple?: HAHA , vicky would die of bryan but actually it might work out. haha

Do you think 12 is hot?: SMOKING

Would 1 and 17 make a lovely couple?: HAHA , ACTUALLY MAYBE. HAHA

Do you know any of 3's family members?: Hahaha no

On a scale of 1-10 how cute is 14?: 10 lah 10 i have to be bias(?) she's my bestfriend

What would you do if 4 just professed their undying love for you: I would say I KNEW IT!how wouldn't love marisse man!? hahaha jokes.

What language does 19 speak?: English?

Who is 8 going out with?: Cheryl ann on Vday haha

Would 18 and 5 make a good couple?: Hahaha I wouldn't know , maybe? hahaha

When was the last time you talked to 6?: last night

What is 18's favorite band?: HAHA I don't know! Mae? HAHAHA I SERIOUSLY HAVE NO IDEA

Does 4 have any siblings?: allison haha

Would you ever date 1?: HAHA WEIRD , LIKE I SAID WE'RE MARRIED

Would you ever date 7?: HAHA , the whole relationship would be us asking each other can we do something and telling each other we're bored. haahahahahahah

Is 15 single?: single but unavailable haha

What is 19's last name?: Liew

What is 3's middle name?: hahaha but his surname's phua hahaha maybe it's chu kang? haha okay , lame sorry haha

What is 10's fantasy?: SHE'S ONE BIG DREAMER.

Would 14 and 19 make a good couple?: wtf hahaha if nat was lesbian hahaha

What school does 16 go to?: SJC

What school does 1 go to?: PLMGSS

Where does 9 live?: Hougang

Would you make out with 13?: Hahaha ERR OMG NO?!

Are 5 and 6 best friends?: They're like stuck to the hip well , sorta

Is 20 older than you?: nope!

Is 4 the sexiest bitch prettiest girl alive?: HAHAHA WHAT!?BONG MAY BE FEMININE BUT HE'S NOT A GIRL AHAHHAA

Is 17 your ex?: HAHAHAHA WTF

Do you ever see yourself with 12 and 18?: HAHAHA WHY NOT! HAHA STACY & BRENDAN ARE COOL ENOUGH FOR ME. AHHA AND THEY BOTH LIVE AT GARDENS MAYBE THEY SHOULD DATE. AHAH OK , SHUTUP MARISSE! ahaha

How is 2?: in need of serious brain theraphy!


HAHAHAH TURNED OUT SERIOUSLY RETARDED!

6 degrees of seperation.
and the world still amazes me with every passing day , how things change and evolve. well , basically everything.


all at once it seemed so easy
the way to make this right
just to let myself feel these things
and say what's on my mind
so i let my guard down
and it seems not for the best
i guess i do the right things
at all the wrong times
and stand to pay the price

shagagraf's the sex! no shit! check him out
- shagagraf.deviantart.com
I love his work. haha , I can almost get stendhal sydrome. Everytime I view his pictures I feel overwhelmed with this weird emotion I can't seem to put my finger on. haha , or maybe I'm just such a fucking pussy.

Pinned wings , please?

I know I promise not to complain. I'll stop , I'll try harder. Maybe tomorrow , maybe next year. I'll stop soon enough. I promise not to feel , I promise not to think. But I've been going to bed with the heaviest heart and a train of thoughts. I never knew not being able to cater to someone felt this scary. I feel useless , completely useless. I don't think it's the right word but it's the first word that popped in my mind. Obsolete came after that but I don't think it's the right word either. No , stop right there Marisse. You've no feelings remember? Oh yeah.

It's 12.13 and I'm going to be late for school. Yes , yet again. Jan went pass so quickly when I think about it. I spent almost everyday with the same people I can almost not remember everything that has/had happened. I see Leslie,Bryan,Gwen,Bong,Joey,Zac,Cheryl Ann almost everyday. I'm going to be lesyanwenongeyacheraphobic! haha , it has come to the point where I think I'm clingy & disgusting and dependent. Please help me!

Joey has an exploding heart for annoyance

so my week has pretty much started out really fucked up , extremely fucked up

I always open this window with alot of things to say but when the minute my fingers touch the keyboard it's like all my thoughts dissapear , I become a robot. Maybe I should bring a keyboard around with me 24/7 and soon enough , I'd be as brain dead as bryan or cheryl or bong or well , the list goes on and you the get it already , I know.So anyway,I can't wait for this friday! The anticipation is killing me already. I've it all planned out. I seriously truly am a weekend warrior! And during the week I walk around as stoned and rock hard as maybe say , concrete? Hello I am concretegerxzsxz90 want to be friends?

yeah I figured.. alrighty then! I leave you here! :)

I have no comment , not anymore.

I look like a guy , I know.

I have so many things to get off my chest right now.

but I know it's not the right time , I got the load off once and let my guard down. look where it got me , I lost someone so dear to me. I'm not ready for that drama again. I think I never really was. But anyway , I pretty much prefer to play pretend. But sometimes pretending is hard when you've lost too much. I think I'm ready for mission : silence .

Cause friend if you've been looking for a passageway , you've come to the right place. Right here , with all my heart.

I decided to delete the last entry because it was to much of an eyesore.

and since everyone has sorta gotten their photos i might as well just post one.

alrighty then!