Cause anything too daring to say to you would be said in this letter and burned away.
So you never realise I'm here.
watch the embers from the letter float and dissapear.

We'll have you screaming back for more.

the fatal fall ,



I took this before dropping brainticia onto the floor.For those who have no idea who she is, she's my camera.The filter cracked and now I'm worrying about the insides.I could've swore that I closed my bag man. I keep telling myself to let it go cause we all make mistakes but my mum keeps rubbing it in.hello? not as if I deliberately threw my camera on the floor or something.I had no intention of dropping her at all.And as if I could predict what was going to happen anyway.Damn! now I have to raise 125 dollars for my filter and IC.Yes , marisse lost her fucking IC as well but that was months ago.I just really need to get it replace before my mum finds out in other words , I need to use my own money to get the following items haha. IF ANYONE WOULD LIKE TO HELP ME OUT AND DONATE ME SOME MONEY IT WOULD BE VERY NICE OF YOU!haha , oh well I doubt I'll get replies but it's worth a try anyway.I took this shot cause I want the world to see how beautiful the moon is getting nowadays but you know with my kind of skills in photography I tend to fail to deliver.Oh well , if I fail then I fail at least I gave it a shot.To sum up my day , I though the omen was awesome enough for me , till then! :)

Dedicated to , Akiko.

This is just sort of a follow up to my parent complaining shit.haha , yes what a drag.anyway,V's rodents gave birthr reccently and I wanted to touch them but then I realise that the mother would probably eat them If I did.you know , so that they can protect them?Then It got me thinking about how some of my parents are and how my mum is becoming now.you know? like the typicial singaporean parent , overprotective.Which is so damn fucking stupid.Just like how the hamster/rat eats its babies over parents like to control our lives so much.Why can't they just face the fact that we need to make these mistakes so we can learn from them? I mean like jumping off the second story when we were kids our parents would tell us to be careful and tell us not to jump but we don't know how bad it really is until we take the jump then we learn our lesson right? (not that i'm saying you should try it haha , it's just an example)If we didn't jump we'd be left wondering how it actually feels like to jump off the second story and stuff.ok maybe it's just the brain deadness talking..haha.well , my mum doesn't really like A to stay over and stuff but he's just my bestfriend( just a label) that's all.I mean hello? not as if I'm going to fuck him or anything.Parents just don't fucking trust us.and to love is to trust.so it comes down to the point where I ask myself does she love me for who I am or love me as a possession?I mean to love someone is one thing to know and care for that someone? is whole different story.Anyway , I'm getting retarded maybe it's the lack of sleep.But my day today was awesome! I woke up having only half an hour to leave punggol and head down to meet the balai people to go to changi.I had alot of fun with them.I realise catholics(trying not to stereotype here) are alot of fun to be with cause they're usually kinda wild and never run out of things to talk about and when we do , we talk about music haha.Anyway we spent alot of time planning and running away from simeon. haha , this weirdo , ask me. haha anyway then I headed down to V's place had alot of fun there too catched up with her quite abit anyway , I'm really tired so g'night.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY BIGGAY!

MY WOMAN ,

MY BABY ,

MY LOVE! :)

I might give up on photography.
oh yea , to Val, I use the digital slr , canon eos 350D.
back to the subject , why am I giving up on photography?
Because I've an unsupportive mum who bought the camera
pretending that she's being supportive but her real motive
was so she could use it against me the next time
she's threatening me with money and other stuff.
Parents , I don't get them.
Why do they want to quarrell with us
When we really can't give a shit about what they think.
Can't they tell we're already all so worn out by them
their yelling , the insults they're all getting a little old.
Take my mum for example.Everytime she's pissed of,
she'll use her loud-hailer-ed-mouth and call me an ungrateful bitch
which is very untrue cause apparently , I'm the totally opposite of that.
What in the world is going through her mind? I don't know
and I don't think I really care.
I feel so pissed off right now I can barely think.
I want to swear off like a fucking machine gun.
I don't get it, really.
Why the fuck do parents and teachers like to threaten us
with stuff that we love or need like our hobbies
and our testimonials.like threatening us will fucking work?!
fuck these fucking motherfuckers!
now I have to go for confession!stupid bitches make me sin.
haha.anyway, it all started out with my mum yelling
countinously about my fucking room which I barely use anyway
she wants me to fucking spring clean it.
I'm totally fine with that but it's only like fucking 8 am in the
fucking morning and I haven't slept for a day?
It's so unhealthy for me but no she doesn't care.
It's all about her , bloody son of a gun.
I tried not to answer back cause it'll just lengthen the
so called 'battle'.I just said stop shouting and or , stop nagging.
and she didnt' stop and she got louder.what the fuck.
her disfunctional brains don't work
did she get the info that came out of mouth wrongly?
I said stop not shout louder.Then I just had to leave the house
I said I was getting breakfast then I went down in hopes
she'll be gone for work when I came home.
So I went up and into her room to find that she was about the
hide my camera.oh sweet mother of Jesus , this woman
will be the death of me one fine day I tell you!
what is she? like seven?! How primary school students would
hide their friends stuff as a revenge plan?what in the world!?
I really can't fucking stand it anymore.
I can't wait for the day I'll have the guts to throw my baby
right at her face and give up on photography.
although , I really really love it ): oh well.


close my eyes , I want you to dissapear.

Come as you are,

as you were,

As I want you to be

As a friend,

As a friend,

As an old enemy

Take your time,

hurry up

The choice is yours,

don't be late.

Take a rest, as a friend,

As an old memoria

And I swear that I don't have a gun

No, I don't have a gun

Guess who's back?
Back again , Marisse's back!
Tell a friend.

Tanjung Balai ,Broken is beautiful

Simplicity is bliss , really.

anyway , I think I've become stupid and boring

so here are some peetours from the trip.

remember to comment on it alright?

akira's opinion doesn't matter.

anyway , to all that tagged my board

ASHLEY , AMIRAH , ALYSSA,
DORY , BIGGAY , VAL ,
TIMO , LEEZOO , NANNY ,
YING , AKIKO AND THIRTEEN :D ,
THANKS FOR THE TAGS BUT THERE ARE TOO MANY TO REPLY
and no , I'm not acting popular cause I am ahah just playing.
I'm just too G*d-damn lazy to reply but it's nice anyway :)
ok , blogger is fucking up and it's a fucking pisser
so post the peetours later.





I think I'm starting over.

Mama Mehrisk & Baby Biggay :)

TELL ME WHY I LOVE LEEZOO AND NANNY'S COMPANY SO MUCH?!HAHAHA

with love ,

Marisse

For Awesome Alyssa Woo-hoo :)

Seven random facts:


I like red
I like eggs , really
I have many clothes but always end up wearing the same thing because it's 'convenient'. (same as alyssa)
I always inferior alot and feel unworthy of praise.
Sometimes I think I'm pretending my emotions.
I fear a painful death but want to try getting into a coma


Seven celebrity crushes:

Katherine Moening
Mia krishner
Howlin pelle
Kurt Cobain
Orlando Bloom
Quinn
Adamn Brody!( who doesnt?!)

Seven qualities I want in a potential boyfriend (need not apply HAHA):
...........................I'm having a hard time thinking of this...


Musically/Aesthetically inclined
Open - minded
Nice face (including hair hahaha)
Commitment
Complex mind
Forgiving
Romance Romance (but not in the mushy sense la! like you are the air I breathe and all the lame shit)

Seven things that scare me:

Heaven & Hell
Being locked alone in an enclose area
Akira
My Mind
Losing anyone related to me (blood or not blood , both ways)
Losing any of my five senses.
Being a failure


Seven things I like/love most:


Rain
Music
Religon
Emotions
People related to me
Complex minds in other words arty people
Seeing people happy



Seven things I plan to do before I die:
( you know this was an on the spot thing so it won't be so interesting haha)

Visit Amsterdamn , Spain , Rhio and alot of other places
Open a club , cafe and gallery
Adopt a spanish kid and a cambodian kid
Do up my the beautiful people album
Lose weight HAHAHA
Say how I really feel towards everyone I know individually.
Play the piano , guitar , bass and cello really well haha :D


Seven random songs at the moment:


on & on - number one gun
again I go unnoticed - DC
Re-offenders - travis
Bed of razors - children of bodom
Capital H - the motion city soundtrack
Midnight highway - daphne loves derby
Sweet dreams - Marilyn Manson


Seven people I want to do this (Do I really? Would they really?):


Vicky
Akira
Natalie
Charlene
Russell
Alicia
Tangy


I can confidentally say that all but Vick will not do it hahaha cause I doubt they'll even see this so whatever :)

Had alot fun tonight thank you
Vick , Tanny , Lizard ,
Akira , Mark , Joey and SURIA
I promise photos , real retarded ones

night :D

SOME RANDOM SHOTS I TOOK TODAY WITH BRAINTICIA :)


my mum's collections of weirdo stuff from God knows where ,
Brainticia and I,
sign from bloomington from years ago,
my living room,
my snapple collection,
my window which I scribble my thoughts on
and last but not least , my damn disgusting wall :)

Let's just hope nothing happens


well well well , I woke up this morning finding that akira didn't come to wake me up and also to find that my mother's loud device called her mouth was yapping at me about the warrenty card to my brainticia( my new cam , I just had to name her)Anyway ,Mos sucked big time.It's one of those parties you go to and hope to die.Anyhows , I'm off to camp now! till then :)

I've always wanted to go running in the rain butt fucking naked =/ hah

how about it? I've come to a conclusion that I truly am crazy.( yes , marisse! you've finally come to realise that! that took you awfully long!) But I need to ask , sometimes just sometimes well for me most of the time but have you ever gone absolutely insane over someone's certain feature or character trait or whatever else works for you?Well I have.I've reccently come to know of this boy( yea , I can't believe it's a boy) with a brilliant mind.He's awesome and he's probably to die for which most girls consider already but that's not the point.The ways of a beautiful mind works volumes compared to beautiful eyes and he comes with looks tho it's like a bonus or something for whoever who falls for him.Anyway that's totally besides the point but this guy is driving me mad and I just want to crack his mind.People have never really interested me for a long perioud but he's different and the worse part is , I don't even know him.You know how it is that only once in a while people that will create an impact in your life pop by and they only stay for a short while.People like Vicky for example ,she's probably the most matured person I know in my circle of friends it's almost amazing but I've cracked her mind so it's getting kind of boring , no offence vicky I still love you anyhows.But trying to crack someone's mind can really make time fly which is totally awesome considering my age and how much time I have in my hand and travelling home from work during the 78923678627893 hour bus ride will be time well spent if i were cracking someone's mind hahaha ok , I sound delirious.Must be the lack of sleep or something.Anyway, I bought 2 topmen shirts today and two underweears and I finally made my ezilink card.
ok nowwwwww everyone say , awesome!

Paradise city is way too far honey

well , I just got home since yesterday.
Yea yea , what a rookie I am but I've got an excuse
I didn't stay out so late in the streets yesterday
We left clarke quay at 4 which isn't so bad
cause we usually wait for the first bus
and spasz around for a while
but pris had to get home early
so we crashed at the ah lian's place
but joey , mark and suriya(?) went home ahead
so it was just akira and I nothing new.
but chilled at the ah lian's place
and fell asleep.
Woke up a few times cause of phone calls
decided to switch it to silent mode
then we woke up 12 hours later
realizing stacy already left
and she didn't wake us up.
I've never rested so much in the whole month
and on the first day I slept like a dead log
haha anyway , I'm heading to town now.
so see you'll later :D

Meet Charlene ,

Well , it's been raining all afternoon today and it's awesome! cause I love rainy weathers not only is it cooling but It's a perfect time to feel low.But I don't have time for that right now cause I've got work at five! It's been sucking the life out of me.oh well , till then!

this isn't fair cause he penetrates me with his stare.

keeping up appearences.
Fooling my selfish heart.
You say you love me , don't do it again.
I'm so confused.
Please tell me what's happening.
I want her to read me.
The blazing mind of an apple pie.
I'm lost , I'm lost.
Fall so hard , I'll never be able to get up again.
Indecipherable words I scribble on my wall.
I want to stop pretending.
I might not be able to take it any longer.
You mean I'm supposet to leave my roots on this ground forever?
Why must I do so?
Vaguely familiar , I sold my soul to work yesterday.
Maybe I'm tired but I doubt so.
I'm so scared , help?

So quiet
Another wasted night
The television steals the conversation
Exhale
Another wasted breath
Again it goes unnoticed



it's days like this I wish I'd just dissapear into thin air
run away from the world into the middle of nowhere
as the pages of this book flips and flips
another chapter of your book begins.
sometimes something happy would be nice
people get sick of being nice
sometimes I think what's the use when I get nothing in return
ok the warmth and smiles really nice but really , It just lasts
for a moment or two.Hoping wishing dreaming that someone would
do the same but it never happens and it feels so lame
I will not conform to the trends of the society.
trend whores , trend whores you wreck the minds of the beautiful
you spill your beans to the rest of your junkies
and take away the beauty of being unique.
love's a decision , love's a bitch
love's the big boss sitting and shaking his legs at the top of
the building while we all move like slave to accomodate with it
it's a pain in this , low paying job
and pay raise happiness never last for long.
so we quit and find new jobs , if you know what I mean.
oh well enough said , work was tiresome.
tomorrow's going to be another day ahead :)



hello! good evening and welcome to fish&co , my name is marisse and I will be serving you today.

I'm just a phone call away , I say over and over again.

Hello dearies , Today was my first day of work at fish & co at suntec city.All of you are most welcome to pop by and say hi to me cause it'll probably make my day since you know work's all about the pressure , pressure brings pleasure I suppose.hah.And thank you to those who came down to see me work.hah.Feels like I'm some sort of rare speciment and was never meant to work or something.But work was pretty much awesome.Everyone there was extremely nice and I have a dyke manager how awesome is that?I'm so dead now , I can barely think.Maybe it's the 5 hours Akira took from me for talking on the phone not saying it wasn't enjoyable , of course it was.that's why i stayed on the line.I need sleep as you can see , I've been pretty much dreaming of sleep.I have work tomorrow again from 5/6 to closing another day ripped away from me cause of money and no friends.friday's going to be extremely tiring.I want to sleep in , help?While working as the greeter of the retaurant I had to smile like 24/7 which was seriously a pain in the ass , since I'm burning like the sun on the insides.But It actually feels good when people smile back.It actually makes my day.It's the simple things that goes really far if you realise.Oh well , I can't wait for june , more flexibility.Ok , gotta run and catch up on some beauty sleep , love! :)


I'm missing out on so many things , please don't forget me.

I'm fooling my selfish heart and going through the emotions like how the wind blows.


hello world on my penis just that I don't have one dot com.hello bloody faggots who read my blog and judge me and don't understand me.pardon me , I'm just busy getting depressed and acting like I'm part of the non-conforming crowd.Why does it always have to rain on me?Life is fucking yo-yo.I fucked twisted cannot be unwind even with kerosene lousy brand from the mama shop yo-yo.I listen to loser rock , wanna be my friend?And I've been dying to reach out to all of you.How has your day been everybody?I had a great day today , I played block catching after dinner with Akira , Mark , Siewhwee and Pris :)



cause the world's gonna want to turn you into everyone else.


XOXO

ok , I've finally absorbed the fact that you're gone.

bye bye beautiful.today someone who connected with me before died.he's my mother's band mate and I haven't really spoke to him in awhile but you know how some people just affect your life in a way even if its so subtle that you don't really notice that it's even there and when the person is gone you realise , hey! you've affected my life and I want to thank you for that but , he's gone.Sometimes We all wonder , why can't God just take to bad guys away why does he always have to take the good ones.but soon you realise that their time on earth is over.They've done their part to affect you life and they never really die because they still are very much alive in our minds be it vaguely , subconciously or vividly.But there's also the why God why?! what about me?I'm suffering so badly without him and that just goes to show how your suicide/death will kill alot of people emotionally so why make the ones around you suffer.akira , don't kill yourself.this summer is going to bleed my heart dry and I know it.I'm going to be emotionally ready for it and I can't believe I'm lying through my teeth again.It's going to kill me.I want you to lead me on.Please don't go stay , please?things like death & love will never change.Once its done it'll forever be there in our hearts like I've said , vaguely , subconciously or vividly.And Death & love a like , they're unpredictable.There goes another eye-lash wish dedication going to you.I feel like I've known you all my life.If we talk , we'd probably talk all night about the rest of our lives and when you're down I'll never leave.Please don't let me crumble on my kitchen floor , cry and realise that you were never meant for me , please?


and there's another guardian angel watching over us.

HELLO I'M FROM BOOB WONDERLAND! :D

THREE AMAZINGLY ABNORMALLY RETARDED BUT INTERESTING BLOGS I'VE READ TODAY :

V ; simply retarded

Michelle ; the american life to be.

Zoe ; Pangsai at Longkang :)


I'm falling for what is wrong and will never be meant for me.



Could you be my answer
Could you tell me that I am
The perfect one for you
You're the perfect one for me

Could you be too faithful
Could you show me anymore
It's the perfect thing to do
It's the perfect thing for me

On and on I see you
The life that comes together
To see that we're forever
On and on I see you
The times we've spent together
The times that last forever

And now we will find our way
It's the way that we'll find this day
And I know you belong to me

Could you lead me on?

the photo's not awesome but it's worth the memory :)
power rangers here to save the day before bed time.
happy gaypride/pangsai day!



we will , we will , gay you like a man whore
never let you say no more
we will , we will , gay you like a drag queen
pierce your nipple with a pin
wear a strap on do the swing!


THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME HAPPY!

saturday was awesome , time well spent with my friends.
as always I'd mention the people I hung out with
and they are V , Ah lian , Akira , Zoe ,
Mark , Joey , Sexy(R) , Chunky(Ju) , Nana , Jacky
and hell lot of other people at eme's party
I had a hell of a time dudes! thank you guys for that.
Thank you Akira and Mark for spending 3 consequtive days
with Me and yes , I know I'm a pain in the ass.
so thank you for putting up with me and my stunts.
it has been 3 crazy awesome days and you know what!
I still have 2 papers! ahahahah someone slap me please?!
first it was the throwing of wax which we got from the
nativity church.well , Akira , Mark , Siewhwee and I
got some dried wax from the churches' prayer thing
and we went on the overhead bridge and threw it at cars
that drove pass.I'm sorry If you happen to pass there.
You know boys will be boys yes , I'm not a girl.
well , that's in akira's and mark's world.
anyway , I had an awesome time.
then it went on to the next day at pangsai party
which was suppose to be at the maple park longkang
but shifted to emo's house.
and everyone looked well downright , replusive.
but it was sweet! hahaha anyway , then sexy , baby biggay,
chunky , Zoeee the angel and I went on to have our
gay pride at town in our crazy outfits.
yea , us and our crazy antics.
we even came up with our own anthem for our gay pride! :D
I had an awesome time and I went for the vertical rush gig
at the esplanade with Baby Biggay(V) , Zoe the angel , Ah lian ,
Akira , Mark , Joey and some guy.Awesome shit!
I like the song angels by vertical rush.
Ok , I should stop getting emo , it's tiring.
Jesus , Send me someone to save me from my misery.


Wounded angels still smile and these roots will never leave the ground.