maybe something nice will do on the midnight highway ;


Well , I think , well maybe
I'm still recovering from what happened
Maybe it had always been just a one-sided story.
but it felt so fucking hell good that It became
In my mind , A fucking reality.
I can't seem to forget them times that we had.
I wish you would never become a part of my past.
Sometimes I stare In the darkness and wonder
why? why did I end up with be in love with someone,
someone like you ,You Egocentric Anal Prober.
Oh well , I think silence Is beautiful
I am made of blood clots and black holes
please tell me how you are able to do the things you do.
I'm so convinced that your skin is still the same as mine.
what does it take to get under your skin.
would It be like watching someone die or
would It be like watching a bad horror flick.
well If you have to be a part of past.
I wanna be able to look back and smile and say.
that was now , this was then.

ARE YOU? HEHE

I love long entries they make me feel whole :)

when I close my eyes , I like what I see.
Inside my mind that is.
I like to dream about the stars above , once in a while
but you know how sometimes being in love with someone
can be well sometimes , manipulative?
cause I've got the strangest feeling that It happened to me.
But by now that I've realised it , it's too late to turn back.
I used to wish to be every little thing you wanted all the time.
But I realized that I'm not all about that.
I was like a puppet and you were the puppet master

all that superficiality , oh God fuck no.
I ain't much of that kind of shit
I wished I could be every little thing you wanted sometimes.
I didn't even have a mind of own.
People don't know that I actually like being quiet and alone
But don't get me wrong I love people namely , my friends
that's why I don't get much of the alone times
making friends and other shit my first priority.
God , come and take me home lead me to your door.
at least just for awhile.Dishwalla's on right now
In the mood for a little reflection.
I blocked out my feelings it's great that I've become numb
I havent cried over selfpity for awhile.
But I blocked out the feelings completely till I lost myself
in the process.Ain't I brilliant? How can someone actually do that
well , I did to hell I did.Now , I take quite long to register
the way I feel sometimes I take an hour sometimes a day sometimes
even a week.For instance I wanted to blog about how I've been
feeling but I realised that, hey! I don't even know how I feel now.
Do you ever sometimes find yourselves thinking , Oh shit I forgot to
breathe.well , that's how I am sometimes when I get to engrossed into
something.Like just a minute ago , I finally realized how I've been
feeling that I almost didn't breathe for awhile.
Maybe I should some of the feelish thing back aye?
I don't want to go to sleep every night thinking
hmmm what should I dream about tonight?
Even more so I don't want to wake up thinking of nothing.
I love having the sunlight flood my eyes every morning
and being able to smile myself thinking , today's going to wonderful
and being able to have all my emotions overwhelm me with desire to
do something crazy with Vicky or Phoebe or Stacy or whoever
( the list goes on )so I can have my thoughts simmer down.
I think I think too much sometimes.
I was walking home the other night passing the usual route
having to pass the football court near my crib. I looked up
and saw the amazing beauty of sky so much so I had to lie on the ground
and absorb the moment.sometimes I think I'm a weirdo.
oh well , am I to complex to comprehend?

Pinch me is it me or is this picture just funny?I love this girl! She's so Cynical!

the time currently is 1:54 If I were to be in school I'd be rejoicing.
But Nope , there ain't school today cause it's a saturday.
I have no Idea what I have been doing since 10.11 , the time I woke up.
well , I think I've been sitting infront of the damn computer
and freaking stonning I tell you for almost 3 fucking hours.
this is so fucking unhealthy but thank God for friends
cause I'm going to east coast baby to celebrate cheryl's birthday.
HEY PARTNER! HAPPY ONE-DAY TO YOUR BIRTHDAY :) I LOVE YOU !
School was a bitch yesterday. I had bloody cramps while doing
my fucking punishment for late-coming and chen lao shi wouldn't let me off.
I broke down as a result fuck you bitch did you know I was in so much
fucking pain you should fucking burn in hell.We have a plan to burn down the
school when we're 80 then we can all die in jail watching the L word :D
Now everyone say , sweeeeeeettttttttt.anyway I'm so boring bye :)

CHECK THOSE LEGS OUT PEEWOWWWW

DUDES! PLEASE STOP INFLATING MY EGO I MIGHT GO TO HELL! =D
I LOVE FLAMERS IT TELLS ME THAT ALOT OF PEOPLE READ MY BLOG.
WHICH IS PRETTY COOL I GUESS HAHAHA EGO BOMB! =DDD

ENGLISH LESSON PART ONE
paaserby: do u noe that u totally sucks n for goodness sake,go reflect on urself,n for ur own good stop hanging out with the 1*beep*2

CORRECTION: passerby : Do you know that you totally suck and for goodness sake , go and reflect on yourself , and for your own good stop hanging out with the (which I assume) bitch.

stranger: knn larh euu... euu 1*beep*2 liitlle iitchh.

CORRECTION: WOW I'm lost for words gosh! your england! tsk.


hello everyone who reads my blog and inflates my ego,
days have been great for me I mean
besides the fact that I'm a walking magnet of bad vibes (jinx)
I am still very happy! :D , I think
Anyway , The school's having a little drama now
with the whole prank thing which in my opinion was rather lame
I mean if you wanna play a prank burn the school down for fuck's sake
at least then you'll be giving others a chance to party and that my
friend , is very very very coooooooooool.enough said , hear is my
resolution for the month!

- go out with HC-GF and her clique :)
- watch wolf creek with treeshaaniiirrirpoeoean
- let my turtle go at macritchie(?)
- club non-stop for the whole of the march holidays
- lose weight
- sleep early
- go to school on time religously
- pray that God might drop Ian down from the sky :)
- go out with V and the rest
- write my book
- improve and thy languages
- save money
- have more time for self

I know I had a thousand and one things on my list of to dos but
well , I can't remember.I'm going to run and hide under the covers.




everyone thinks moorese is a cool kid :)
HAHAHA -_________-

and they say you can't hide it but I did all this while.

OH PUPPET

brace yourselves for another boring enrty by marisse caine.

well , i guess i can say that my day has been well spent
considering I've got a two new knickers
yes I love my panties I think Alicia was the one who
influenced me about the knicker obsession haha
thanks uhhleeshaa cause I take comfort into knowing
what I'm wearing underneath my pants/skirts/shorts
are b-e-a-utiful you know incase of one night stands
just playing.here's what happened at dorothy perkins.

me: hello!

russell:hello! you're alica's friend right

me: yeaaaa haha marisse

russell:so how long have you been working here?

me: errrr I don't work here hahaa

both of us : -_______-'

well, at least now I know that I look like I can work
at a fashion boutique.I'm so lame. My sunday has been pretty
good I guess yeap and I got a pair of jeans from Queen coulture
at the heeren and I checked out the gays at the haviannas
alyssa was talking about oh yea speaking of alyssa
ALYSSA WOO IF YOU READ THIS WHEN WILL WE HAVE LUNCH WITH ESTHER!?


I told my mum I was lesbian when I was in secondary one :D

I am suppose to feel pissed off right?
I mean I do have the right to am I wrong?
I don't know why I can't feel my anger fully
Why the fuck did i have to block it out
Now that I can feel I pretty much get a headache
most of the time that is. I realised that
saying sorry isn't the hardest.
It's having to mean what you said that's hard
whatever , I think I'm left speechless
I mean hello? I feel really LC right now
well , at least now I fit the bill perfectly
for my HC-GF most loved , Siva :))))
What am I suppose to say now
I wanna hear that it's been erased
and that they're sorry.
fuck you all.

AKIRA IS STUPID
STUPID IS AKIRA
AKIRA SHOULD GET SOME BRAINS
THEN HE'LL BE MORE SANE
HE'S SO LOST IN HIS PIERCINGS
HE LIKES TO PLAY ON THE SWING
BECAUSE HE'S SO GAY
WE SHOULD ALL KILL HIM TODAY
AKIRA IS A FUCKER
HE NEEDS A MARKER
FOR HIS LEGS
SO WE CAN COLOUR IT TILL THEY SMELL LIKE EGGS
THAT ARE ROTTEN
AND AFTER THE SMELL HE WILL BE FORGOTTEN
NO MORE FRIENDS WITH AKIRA
WE'RE IN A NEW ERA =DDD

let's get wild


where do I begin?
Should I start at time when you first called?
or foward to the first time
you gave me 'the stare'
I'm either reading too much into it
and am becoming melodramatic again
I look at your name and repeat to myself , fuck you
I heard that you were feeling obnoxious again.
well that's really nice to hear
at least now , you're suffering in the process
typical situation , typicial angel

HUNG-GA-REEE??

THERE'S REALLY NOTHING ELSE TO SAY AND I CAN'T EXPLAIN IT.

sooooooooo vulgar why so vulgar?

ART OR PERVERSION?
WELL ,YOU PICK.
AVIS DIED TODAY ):
DUE TO CORNFLAKES

RELATE TO ME

Hello everybody , according to my clock I've slept for more than 12 hours today.I slept at 6 yesterday and woke up at 6.35 today.But What a lovely day today indeed.Woke up feeling rather refreshed and to find that I had strawberries for breakfast and whats more , I'M FINALLY GOING TO THE DOCTORS YO! after my long wait.=D well in case you were wondering , I have a crooked spine and a clot in my eye that's why I'm seeing the doctors =).anyway , I've decided not to kill myself slowly because I think I should love myself more than other people.WOOO-HOOO THE BIMBO'S GONE. I'm going to the doctors now and to school and I've no blogging mojo so this entry is going to be a waste of space but who cares! I've got lovely photos =DD g'bye



I DON'T LIKE THIS PICTURE.

blood shot eyes , blood shot hearts

I'm going to kill myself slowly
I don't know why but I just feel like doing it
I'm sensible enough to know what I'm doing
is clearly immature.where's my fuck care attitude?
I feel like I'm here in this world to be used.
Now , that's a line you here almost everyday.
I feel so so so used.I tried you know.
I tried to make things up with ten folds.
And It killed me to be aware that you could find takers
other than me and better than me.
you had to remind me everyday what an asshole you truly are.
I do not understand what I saw in you.
I need to walk away and let go.
I've blocked my feelings completely and what did I get?
I've become a boring blob of fats
and What fate did I get on fuckentine's day.
I had to get hit by my mother and now , I have blood shot eyes.
I just wished I could curl up and die.
this sounds so I not stupid too the movie but ,
nothing I do seems to be up to standard for anybody.
not good enough , never good enough.
two pharses that constantly appear in my mind.
this isn't how it's suppose to be
life's suppose to be really nice.
I feel like shit now I'm going to block it out
after this , goodbye my I die.

once again , I'm running away

emotionally incapable of handling : you.


lost in confusion
not knowing which way to return
to the person you know
this trepidation makes you
take it out on someone else
you forever
everybody wins
i don't think so

what would the worst thing be if you
took the wheel and you lost control
no one is safe inside your safety zone
don't understand but i hear what you're saying
the repetition of a lonely life
somebody tell me why the
heart is waging war against the
friends of the enemy of your mind

not your opinion
sounds like you learn it from a show
it appears you have lost
so sick of marching in your lonliness parade
stay together underneath a giant tidal wave

what would the worst thing be if you
took the wheel and you lost control
no one is safe inside your safety zone
don't understand but i hear what you're saying
the repetition of a lonely life
somebody tell me why the
heart is waging war against the
friends of the enemy of your mind

your imatated
ordinary life

is one that you can't break free of
you take a chance as you let it go
happy without the words you'll never know
no way to lose when you made the game you're playing
a no decision forfeit home
no one is safe inside your safety zone
don't understand but i hear what you're saying
the repetition of a lonely life
no one is safe inside your safety zone
don't understand but i hear what you're saying
the repetition of a lonely soul
no one is safe inside your zone

TOUGH BREAK , SO MUCH STILL REMINDS ME , I SMELL A HORRIBLE WEEK AHEAD.

Spinning - Mae - Sun

WON'T YOU BE MY FUCKENTINE;

the uncut version
as the tree branches become silhoutte
against the window plane
I realise I've been a mess.
I read V's blog about feeling.
And I realised that I've made myself vows like that
probably a thousand times but you know , they never work
or at least they never took action.
destination , beautiful.
maybe someday It'll come back to us
We'll head towards the sun and flood our lights with daylight
I don't know you know so many things happened so quickly
This is probably my one sided story.
well , tonight I'm about to promise myself only one last night
one last night of indulging in wallowing in self-pity.
I feel pathetic , used and angry.
Tomorrow , If I have the time for myself will be the last night.
It's so close but we're so far away.(MAE)
It kills me to know that you can find takers other than me ,
better than me (EMERY).
So now I vow this vow to myself never to feel for as long as I can.


maybe I'm just tired...




YOU had so many chances to make it a fairytale , oh wells.

spinning - SUGARCULT - bouncing off the walls again

perfect colouration don't you find?


party up , don't fall down


The players & swingers party was horribly bad
It was by far probably the worse party I've ever attended
even more worse than the private party at the american club
well , but It was still quite fun
considering I spent almost the whole night dancing on the podium
judging people for the way they dance
seriously dudes out there , if you can't dance
please please please , do not club
and If you want to please do not dance on the fucking podium
and block my fucking view.
I can honestly say the underage parties are definately better
because first off , everyone there is young
so they don't know what they're doing
and they don't care if people are looking at them.
Church was Fine as usual feast for the eyes
being bored to tears but still having fun.
complicated shit I guess but still praise the Lord =D
oh wells , I'm beat and I've got tennis later



give me a grapefruit and I'll tell you why I love sundays.



I swear this is not a fetish for ballons hehe =D

I want to wear this to the prom this year :D

Marisse Isabel Caine ;

hello world wide web dot blogger dot com
Some people say if you can't blog
just post pictures so here are a few =)
I've officially found a new girlfriend and her name is ,
excercise :D went over the biggay's house yesterday night
and I bought ice cream for the kid and emo we ended up
mixing it with cornflakes milk and milo powder and yeap
it tasted uber uber good but there's alot of fats in that shit.
I ended up falling asleep at the kid's house.
Woke up the next morning(today) had a banana and went for a swim
I saw tehknee on her way out with her crazy mum peering through
the window yet again.The water was icy cold but I went for a swim anyhow
I swam ten laps and went back to the kids house for a bath
we chilled around ate some weird nice shit and I went off to the gym
I excercised for about an hour plus? pathetic ain't I.
Oh wells , I feel rather accomplished now.
Yesterday , the sec 4s got their results and I'm happy to annouce that
I've got no school on V-day so won't you be be fuckentine?
I'm going to club tonight so much cardio excercises pretty good aye
oh god! I'm becoming fitness freak! excercise has strip me of my
craziness oh well. haha.where's my bloggin mojo man.

Just a random question : Are thongs common in singaporeans?

you don't have to answer me haha =D

WHATS UP.

DEPRESSED.SICK.ANGRY.
CONFUSED.DISORENTATED.
DISORDER.DESPERATE.
SUPERFICIAL.
FULL OF SHIT.
LOST.SAD.PATHETIC.FAT.
UGLY.LOST OF WORDS.
INDECIPHERABLE.EMPTY.
EXHAUSTED.FUCKED.
COULD BE YOU.COULD BE ME.
LOST OF INSPIRATION.
CANNOT FUNCTION PROPERLY.
TOO MANY THOUGHTS SO LITTLE TIME.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
DEPRESSED.SICK.ANGRY.
CONFUSED.DISORENTATED.
DISORDER.DESPERATE.
SUPERFICIAL.
FULL OF SHIT.
LOST.SAD.PATHETIC.FAT.
UGLY.LOST OF WORDS.
INDECIPHERABLE.EMPTY.
EXHAUSTED.FUCKED.
COULD BE YOU.COULD BE ME.
LOST OF INSPIRATION.
CANNOT FUNCTION PROPERLY.
TOO MANY THOUGHTS SO LITTLE TIME.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.DEPRESSED.SICK.ANGRY.
CONFUSED.DISORENTATED.
DISORDER.DESPERATE.
SUPERFICIAL.
FULL OF SHIT.
LOST.SAD.PATHETIC.FAT.
UGLY.LOST OF WORDS.
INDECIPHERABLE.EMPTY.
EXHAUSTED.FUCKED.
COULD BE YOU.COULD BE ME.
LOST OF INSPIRATION.
CANNOT FUNCTION PROPERLY.
TOO MANY THOUGHTS SO LITTLE TIME.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.DEPRESSED.SICK.ANGRY.
CONFUSED.DISORENTATED.
DISORDER.DESPERATE.
SUPERFICIAL.
FULL OF SHIT.
LOST.SAD.PATHETIC.FAT.
UGLY.LOST OF WORDS.
INDECIPHERABLE.EMPTY.
EXHAUSTED.FUCKED.
COULD BE YOU.COULD BE ME.
LOST OF INSPIRATION.
CANNOT FUNCTION PROPERLY.
TOO MANY THOUGHTS SO LITTLE TIME.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.DEPRESSED.SICK.ANGRY.
CONFUSED.DISORENTATED.
DISORDER.DESPERATE.
SUPERFICIAL.
FULL OF SHIT.
LOST.SAD.PATHETIC.FAT.
UGLY.LOST OF WORDS.
INDECIPHERABLE.EMPTY.
EXHAUSTED.FUCKED.
COULD BE YOU.COULD BE ME.
LOST OF INSPIRATION.
CANNOT FUNCTION PROPERLY.
TOO MANY THOUGHTS SO LITTLE TIME.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.DEPRESSED.SICK.ANGRY.
CONFUSED.DISORENTATED.
DISORDER.DESPERATE.
SUPERFICIAL.
FULL OF SHIT.
LOST.SAD.PATHETIC.FAT.
UGLY.LOST OF WORDS.
INDECIPHERABLE.EMPTY.
EXHAUSTED.FUCKED.
COULD BE YOU.COULD BE ME.
LOST OF INSPIRATION.
CANNOT FUNCTION PROPERLY.
TOO MANY THOUGHTS SO LITTLE TIME.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.DEPRESSED.SICK.ANGRY.
CONFUSED.DISORENTATED.
DISORDER.DESPERATE.
SUPERFICIAL.
FULL OF SHIT.
LOST.SAD.PATHETIC.FAT.
UGLY.LOST OF WORDS.
INDECIPHERABLE.EMPTY.
EXHAUSTED.FUCKED.
COULD BE YOU.COULD BE ME.
LOST OF INSPIRATION.
CANNOT FUNCTION PROPERLY.
TOO MANY THOUGHTS SO LITTLE TIME.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.DEPRESSED.SICK.ANGRY.
CONFUSED.DISORENTATED.
DISORDER.DESPERATE.
SUPERFICIAL.
FULL OF SHIT.
LOST.SAD.PATHETIC.FAT.
UGLY.LOST OF WORDS.
INDECIPHERABLE.EMPTY.
EXHAUSTED.FUCKED.
COULD BE YOU.COULD BE ME.
LOST OF INSPIRATION.
CANNOT FUNCTION PROPERLY.
TOO MANY THOUGHTS SO LITTLE TIME.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.DEPRESSED.SICK.ANGRY.
CONFUSED.DISORENTATED.
DISORDER.DESPERATE.
SUPERFICIAL.
FULL OF SHIT.
LOST.SAD.PATHETIC.FAT.
UGLY.LOST OF WORDS.
INDECIPHERABLE.EMPTY.
EXHAUSTED.FUCKED.
COULD BE YOU.COULD BE ME.
LOST OF INSPIRATION.
CANNOT FUNCTION PROPERLY.
TOO MANY THOUGHTS SO LITTLE TIME.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.DEPRESSED.SICK.ANGRY.
CONFUSED.DISORENTATED.
DISORDER.DESPERATE.
SUPERFICIAL.
FULL OF SHIT.
LOST.SAD.PATHETIC.FAT.
UGLY.LOST OF WORDS.
INDECIPHERABLE.EMPTY.
EXHAUSTED.FUCKED.
COULD BE YOU.COULD BE ME.
LOST OF INSPIRATION.
CANNOT FUNCTION PROPERLY.
TOO MANY THOUGHTS SO LITTLE TIME.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.DEPRESSED.SICK.ANGRY.
CONFUSED.DISORENTATED.
DISORDER.DESPERATE.
SUPERFICIAL.
FULL OF SHIT.
LOST.SAD.PATHETIC.FAT.
UGLY.LOST OF WORDS.
INDECIPHERABLE.EMPTY.
EXHAUSTED.FUCKED.
COULD BE YOU.COULD BE ME.
LOST OF INSPIRATION.
CANNOT FUNCTION PROPERLY.
TOO MANY THOUGHTS SO LITTLE TIME.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.DEPRESSED.SICK.ANGRY.
CONFUSED.DISORENTATED.
DISORDER.DESPERATE.
SUPERFICIAL.
FULL OF SHIT.
LOST.SAD.PATHETIC.FAT.
UGLY.LOST OF WORDS.
INDECIPHERABLE.EMPTY.
EXHAUSTED.FUCKED.
COULD BE YOU.COULD BE ME.
LOST OF INSPIRATION.
CANNOT FUNCTION PROPERLY.
TOO MANY THOUGHTS SO LITTLE TIME.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.DEPRESSED.SICK.ANGRY.
CONFUSED.DISORENTATED.
DISORDER.DESPERATE.
SUPERFICIAL.
FULL OF SHIT.
LOST.SAD.PATHETIC.FAT.
UGLY.LOST OF WORDS.
INDECIPHERABLE.EMPTY.
EXHAUSTED.FUCKED.
COULD BE YOU.COULD BE ME.
LOST OF INSPIRATION.
CANNOT FUNCTION PROPERLY.
TOO MANY THOUGHTS SO LITTLE TIME.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.DEPRESSED.SICK.ANGRY.
CONFUSED.DISORENTATED.
DISORDER.DESPERATE.
SUPERFICIAL.
FULL OF SHIT.
LOST.SAD.PATHETIC.FAT.
UGLY.LOST OF WORDS.
INDECIPHERABLE.EMPTY.
EXHAUSTED.FUCKED.
COULD BE YOU.COULD BE ME.
LOST OF INSPIRATION.
CANNOT FUNCTION PROPERLY.
TOO MANY THOUGHTS SO LITTLE TIME.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.DEPRESSED.SICK.ANGRY.
CONFUSED.DISORENTATED.
DISORDER.DESPERATE.
SUPERFICIAL.
FULL OF SHIT.
LOST.SAD.PATHETIC.FAT.
UGLY.LOST OF WORDS.
INDECIPHERABLE.EMPTY.
EXHAUSTED.FUCKED.
COULD BE YOU.COULD BE ME.
LOST OF INSPIRATION.
CANNOT FUNCTION PROPERLY.
TOO MANY THOUGHTS SO LITTLE TIME.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.DEPRESSED.SICK.ANGRY.
CONFUSED.DISORENTATED.
DISORDER.DESPERATE.
SUPERFICIAL.
FULL OF SHIT.
LOST.SAD.PATHETIC.FAT.
UGLY.LOST OF WORDS.
INDECIPHERABLE.EMPTY.
EXHAUSTED.FUCKED.
COULD BE YOU.COULD BE ME.
LOST OF INSPIRATION.
CANNOT FUNCTION PROPERLY.
TOO MANY THOUGHTS SO LITTLE TIME.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.DEPRESSED.SICK.ANGRY.
CONFUSED.DISORENTATED.
DISORDER.DESPERATE.
SUPERFICIAL.
FULL OF SHIT.
LOST.SAD.PATHETIC.FAT.
UGLY.LOST OF WORDS.
INDECIPHERABLE.EMPTY.
EXHAUSTED.FUCKED.
COULD BE YOU.COULD BE ME.
LOST OF INSPIRATION.
CANNOT FUNCTION PROPERLY.
TOO MANY THOUGHTS SO LITTLE TIME.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.
SO FUCKING ANGRY.

THAT I WANT TO CRY , BUT NOT THIS TIME...




LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE..

what the fuck.


spinning - save yourself , senses fail.


happy chinese new year everybody.

oh my insane cousins =)



school's been fine these days but I still get into trouble
alot alot.was at the principle's office today.same old shit.
nothing new.like a fugitive in school.running away away away
all the damn bloody time.but I know without school things
wouldn't ever be the same.I love school even with the bad parts.
it's like a rose? haha. so cliche.I'm really beat now.
oh wells , life does get beautiful sometimes doesn't it?

hello akira , you are a fucker.

me against the world , it sounds cliche aye.

Well my clique took part in a fun fair thing last friday and It was really good.
We goofed off most of the time and still managed to get top sales =D.
Anyway Cheryl Foo's my partner and she's been a God send.
The book I'm holding while trying to strangle phoebe is I'm with stupid.
It's suppose to be pointing at her.My week has been not bad.
Yesterday was awesome.The day started great and ended sweet.



dumb & dumberer


Oh phoebe , I remember the times now.
The feel like it was just yesterday.
Well it's not too late.
We still can do extremely stupid things together =DD





this is for the many yous.






how many times has this line cross your mind?
when you're in love with someone
when you're feeling for you folks.
when your friend's going to leave you.
I don't know , just another random entry
from yours truly =)

random shit


1.What is your last name?
-- Caine

2. Last person you called?
-- 1711 or phoebe you pick.

3. What are you listening to right now?
-- death cab , photobooth

4. what are the last 2 digits in your phone
number?
-- 11

5. What was the last thing you ate?
-- rollar coaster!

6. Last person you hugged:
-- emoline and she smothered me with her boobs.

7. How is the weather right now? -
-- it's going to rain =DD

8. Who was the last person you talked to on the
phone?
-- stacy the ah lian =DD

9. The first thing you notice about the opposite
sex?
-- eyes?hair? i don't know

10. Favorite type of Food?
-- I eat anything and everything hahaha

11. Do you drink?
-- sometimes

12. Do you smoke?
-- nope but would love to try.

13. Ever get so drunk you dont remember what
you did?
-- No , I'm not stupid.

14. Hair color?
-- Black? Brown?

15. Eye color?
-- dark brown

16. Do you wear contacts?
-- nope.

17. Favorite Holiday?
-- any holiday would be my favorite

18. Favorite Month?
-- november cause It means there'll be another month of the holiday.

19. Have you ever cried for no reason?
-- nope.

20. Last Movie you Watched?
-- the ring two apparently.tsk.

29. What book are you reading?
-- to kill a mocking bird and heavier than heaven

30. Piercings?
-- two

31. Favorite movie?
--currently , band camp

32. Favorite basketball Team?
-- can't remember

33.What were you doing before filling this out?
-- picking my nose.kidding!listening to copeland.

35. MSN?
-- NSM?

36. Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn?
-- there's plain?

37. Dogs or cat?
-- cats, both also can

38. Favorite Flower?
-- I can't remember I think sunflowers?

39.Have you ever been caught doing something
you werent supposed to be doing?
-- YEA! LAST NIGHT HAHAHAHAH

40.Have you ever loved someone?
-- yea.

41. Who would you like to see right now?
-- They'll kill me If I say.

42. Are you still friends with your ex?
-- yeap.

43. Have you ever fired a gun?
-- nope , but would love to , at MDM CHONG!


44. Do you like to travel by plane?
-- sure

45. Right-handed or Left-handed?
-- both.

46. If you can be with someone right now,who
would it be?
-- anyone.

47. How many pillows do you sleep with?
-- two.

48. Are you missing someone?
-- Yeap

49. Do you have a Tattoo?
-- No , but I think I might want one.but ya' know the pain.

50. Do you still watch cartoons on saturday
mornings?
-- not anymore.

what I do every night , you know my secrets.


(untitled)

An overdose of korean movies.touchy touchy , mush mush.The tears roll of slowly and out of my lids.I should have been flabaghasted why didn't I react?I've been secretly falling apart more on the inside than the outside.I feel like a third person watching myself like my soul has left the body and I'm just watching myself get cut my tall sharp crispy yellow grass.It cuts slowly and leaves me bleeding almost to death , I feel the pain but I don't.The me I'm watching is dying slowly of the excruciating pain and Istead of helping , I sit there and tilt my head in awe of the moment.I lids meet for a second or two my head spins.And as I open up my views, they squint as it floods with daylight and red. She,Me.I'm almost dead.But still , I stand staring how queer.let's see what'll happen.I walk home and find everything unreal.like I can almost see the outlines of my hands and of the buildings.I talk to a friend.she keeps talking her mouth is moving and I suddenly feel like we're strangers and this is the first time we've ever spoken.I stand there tilt my head again , the speed of the sound travels so fast , I trip and I fall again.You've said something you shouldn't have.I stand up squint my eyes again and the tears rest on my lids.I hold back,smile and walk away.sometimes I think I think too much.what I'm saying is almost incomprehendable to a outsider unless you know what I'm talking about or you're experiencing my insanity.I sound delirious.whats happening.there's like another me.trapped I feel tied down the chains are so heavy.I must get out.take away my emotions.I'm scared and lost in my darkness.I see her she takes the broken glass and contemplates death.Her childhood flashes in an black and white and in minutes , she's gone.

My oh My.


it's 1.20 right now and I'm not in school because guess what? I'm sick , for real this time.I had asthma this morning and something told me it was from that day I met akira and friends at hougang ( oh yes , the indeccent life of an ahlian).There was this dude that kept coughing without covering his mouth and the moment he didn't cover his mouth I knew that I was going to become sick.first of , I've been sort of depressed causing my immune system to be fucked.Second of all , The crazy weather changes have been driving my system insane and now this asswipe here comes and cough without covering his mouth what a cunt I must say.Anyway , I'm sick now.I want to head to the gym but NO , I'm currently sick and do not want to aggravate my situation and something tells me that my lunar rhythms are just around the corner.well hopefully it comes before the players & swingers party shit.I think I feel sort of up for it? yes surprise surprise.V ain't going first of all cause it's expensive and secondly , she's too busy with her you-know-who.I don't think I'm suppose to say the name.anyway , I got up really early this morning about nine? my difficulty breathing pissed me of so I didn't want to sleep anymore.Watched the awards show and been online ever since.I think I'm going to do something more fruitful later well ,at least I hope so.maybe like , read , read and maybe read?I'm reading three books at the same time now.To kill a mocking bird is awesome.It's so good I can actually feel the chills up my spine at the suspensful parts.very engrossed indeed.oh wells.I think I'd better buzz off before I become stupider( yes.no such freaking word).


off to kill A mocking bird. :)

three words : hot hot summer.



I know I made a resolution not to fall in love again
but I can't help it I found a new love and no ,
it is not anybody you know of,
it is but something you know of.
it's something called , gymming.
I want to lose as much weight as possible
in a healthy way of course.
I want the back of kristen dunst.
And the front of gwen stefani
legs of angelina jolie
and shoe size of phoebe lauw! LOL
bottomline is , I want jessica alba's body
this sudden bimbo rush is prolly cause I'm sick
and of course , under pressure.

I am a substitute , an image of the invisible

I'm still lost in a love song.
I still think you're imperfections are beautiful
No matter how much hurt you've caused me
and the aggravation was indescribable
and the stars are out tonight
in the clear moonlight
pity , you aint with me
or I would have kissed you , for free.


the lonesome valentine


Look at the stars look how they shine for you
and everything you do
Yeah, they were all yellow

I came along, I wrote a song for you
And all the things you do
And it was called yellow

So then I took my turn
Oh what a thing to have done
And it was all yellow

And Your skin, oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
Do you know?
You know I love you so
You know I love you so

I swam across, I jumped across for you
Oh what a thing to do
'Cuz you were all yellow

I drew a line; I drew a line for you
Oh what a thing to do
And it was all yellow
Yeah, yeah...

your skin, oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
do you know?
For you I bleed myself dry
For you I bleed myself dry

It's true
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine for you
Look how they shine

Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you
And all the things that you do

Blood Clots & Black Holes



Betrayal Is A Symptom by Thrice.

Rain Vulgar like Water , Spill Vulagar like Water
and you become , Vulgar. I'm so random.
I was suppose to catch the sunrise (yet again)
this morning with Ah lian , Stupid and Stupider
yes, I know there's no such word.who gives a hoot.
anyway , I cancelled the sunrise shit bcos I was really tired
from the gym and all.I must say , going to the gym is
really really fun.I love using the eqquipment.
I need to lose weight.Because I blame all my failures
on my the way I look.superficial , I know.
I admit I can get superficial.
but it's not that I like it , It's just how things work
as in now , superficiality is the way of life.
whether we like it or not , we've got to hope on the wagon
and go with the flow or we will lose out.
trust me , I love being different
but sometimes , sometimes , you've got to just go with the flow
if you want to get something really really bad.
Maybe this is all cock talk now cause I'm really bored.
Anyway , So i got up this morning and the first thing I did
was to got to my grands' she lives in punggol btw
do you know how fucking far that is from serangoon?!
anyway , She lives next to my mini oasis.
I stand afar staring at it
wanting to go there never finding the time
It's so far but I'm going to make it a point to go there
even it means alone , this week =)
I'm going to town now , bye my simple kind of lovely.



weeks later, I hope you'll regret it.
for what you've done , is make me hate you.

Freewayblogger
Over the last three years
he has put over 2,500 signs
against the war on the freeways of California.
ain't he impressive?
yea baby , make love not war =D

retail theraphy?




Today wasn't such a bad day after all
I mean besides the fact that my phone got confiscated
other than that , the day seemed really good!
marisse marisse, you bought shoes a shirt and a skirt.
what more do you want to buy now.
damn it , stop spending money
I smell valentino around the corner screaming for love
g'day g'night and g'bye

Mae I love you?


What happened?
things happened to fast
and yet again , anger got the best of me.
I felt it , or did I.
I have no idea which way I'm going now.
I need someone to hold my hand
and guide me through this , I think.
I want nothing more tonight
but to be out there.
every now and again , I feel like
I feel like I've been sucked into this time lapse
into this place where I'd sit and watch my painful
most painful , painful memories.
It plays in black and white.
I'd be sitting there all alone and crying.
wondering why did it happen.
No matter how much hurt you have caused me
It struck me that no matter what , I'd still love you.
You left almost too soon , you came almost unannouced.
Things are moving so fast and I'm too slow to catch up
so I fall and I manage to grab onto this thin line
so thin , almost a thread that might snap anytime soon
I'm fat and heavy so It snaps and I fall.
But I manage to grab onto a hand
how lucky you may say , but the hand burns
it has torns on it
like a rose , the hand seemed oh so beautiful,
since I'm close to death , but just like a rose
It has torns that hurt me the worse part is
I'm falling so the pressure pushes the torns into my flesh
and drags down into cuts , I feel the pain
but I can't let go , It's so painful
But It's like an addiction I can't get rid off.
and I finally pass out of the excruciating(?) pain
I still fall , into the bloody pit.
it never ends doesn't it?


Spinning - Someone Else's Arms

I feel like someone just ripped my heart out.
Why am I acting like I'm unaffected.
snap out of it marisse.

dream of everynight

elizabethtown , you break my heart.

she's too lost in her darkness they say.



I'm only happy when It rains ( garbage)
apparently not , cause I'm not out there playing in the rain
but you could say that I can have my walk down memory lane
and get emotional and I guess that'll make me happy
cause I abso-fucking-lutely love getting depressed
I hope you remember what I told you cause guess what , Ian's back.
I'm such a psycho aren't I , people actually think I need help
what is happening to me , whats the deal with my brains.
What happened to my fuck care attitude on a sober basis
my fuck care's present physically but not mentally anymore.
I cannot stand school , I know you've probably heard it a billion times.
but school makes me feel like I've been buried alive in this coffin
and in this case , school's the coffin.
I have this gut feeling that I'm not going to do well for the major exams
hot damn , I never knew how much people could actually affect me.
fucking teachers , I hate math , I hate school , I hate life
I hate teachers , I hate teachers who aggravate my situation
I hate hate , I hate you , I hate me , I hate every happy day.
Cause I now feel like If I get one happy day ,
I get ten depressing days in return.life's such a drag
Why the fuck won't they leave me alone.
I just want to be alone or at least with my friends.
I mean hello? we have to deal with the shit our parents give us at home
and we go to school looking foward to a better day and guess what
we have to deal with our fucking teachers , It's so damn exhausting.
The only reason why I stay in school Is so I can make a living QUICKLY
I can't wait for the next approximately 240 days to end
cause then , I'm out of my 'institution'.
the only reason why I'm alive now is , my friends , family and God.
cause , I do not want to be thrown into the lake of fire.
I'm waiting for a car to hit me or something
get it over and done with so , I thank God for religon.
I just might have a nervous breakdown anytime soon
and when I do , please friends I hope you guys will still love me all the same
cause I'd love you all the same.


yes baby , closure has already happened.